�� new old this that ��

2001-04-02.10:00 a.m.

Back to Providence

Fainting verses Passing out

If you fall down and hit your jaw on the corner of a bar while drunk do you call it a pass out or faint? Well, if you suddenly feel your face turn ghost white and people can see you phosphorescing sickness from across the room � then it probably is a faint.

Yep, I fainted in a bar this past Saturday night. No dinner � no food since noon, free beer all night, it was then 2am� I�m standing there talking to people at the back of a Chicago bar and they said I turned all sorts of strange pale colors and just fell down � lumberjack falling a tree style � the lumberjack was Grey Goose IPA.

I�ve been wearing my glasses all the time now, so of course they flew off of my face and of course I didn�t realize they were missing until I was outside feeling like hell, and of course they couldn�t find them� until morning � until I woke up went to shower and sauna at the racquet club � ate at the diner � found and figured out the Braille on the cash machine � and got to the club.

Sonya is my newest heroine. She grabbed me by the arm in the bar Saturday night and walked me out, then she was the one to trade cell phone numbers with the bar tender, then she was the blessed soul to return my eyes to me Sunday morning.

Once I was able to see again � the sheer embarrassment of the previous night was much easier to handle. I also didn�t have to worry about trying to make my way through 3 airports squinting at everything and eventually having to ask for a wheel chair because I�ve been injured by all the people walking into me when I suddenly stop, stare up, and squint desperately at gigantic signs reading DUMBASSES WHO GET DRUNK AND LOSE THEIR GLASSES � STOP AND STARE HERE

Sunday was uneventful � apart from getting my glasses back, flying home, and then finding all of my laundry clean when I walked in the door. Jen did it. I�m still shocked. Chores done without a lunar eclipse.

Also, the cat has almost forgiven me for leaving him. When I go home for lunch he�ll be back to normal � unless he feigns fainting just for attention� something I wish I was clever enough to do last Saturday night � something that would have resulted in me not losing my glasses for 10 hours.

It feels good to be back in Providence, although I had the greatest time while I was away�



(apart from my dumbass incident)



�� new old this that ��
            














Since Feb 2001





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