�401k's are like Hangovers�
With a 401k you feel all happy and fuzzy because you know you have this money waiting for you when you retire - so you won't be locked in an attic room being fed 2 lousy meals a day and occasionally getting your Depends� changed by the son you alienated ignored and neglected for most of your life.
The only problem is that if you take the money out BEFORE you retire you lose half to the taxes. That makes you feel like all bad and stuff.
When you're drinking you feel all fuzzy and happy too but sooner or later you have to go to bed and if you don't get enough sleep and drink enough water you feel really bad - just like taking your money out too soon and losing it in taxes.
This is why we need to stop giving so much money to social programs and other thing�s like space."
"Thank you Mr. Bush you can sit down now."
