(SCENE: johnpowers standing against canal railing, holding punk ass loser in the air by the throat while his feet dangle over the canal.)
johnpowers: So are you ever going to fuck with the things on my back patio again?
punk ass loser: No No I swear.
(BLOOSH!)
johnpowers: DIE LOUSY CHAIR AND PLANT THROWING SCUM FUCKER !!!!
(Gurgle Gurgle!)
�
So last night I went to the store and then stopped over my friends house before coming home. I was gone what... an hour and a half? Well, around 10pm the local low life kids came by, tossed the lawn chair in the river and then tried to throw my giant palm plant in after it. They eventually succeeded, but not before dropping it and breaking the pot into a bunch of pieces.
They can�t be very old because it doesn�t take that much strength to pick it up and I could see deep marks where they dragged it to the canal railing.
I am so sick of this shit.
What pisses me off is that Jen was home while it happened. It was a cold night � the door was closed, the lights were mostly out and she thought she heard something but wasn�t exactly sure � so they couldn�t have been that loud� but still it�s pretty ballsy for kids to do this shit while the people they�re doing it to are home. Fuckers.
I WILL GET THEM!!!
It is so hard for me to hold down these feelings of elitist middle upper class older person bigotry when I try to figure out the rational behind doing something like tossing someone�s shit in a river. I mean, they HAVE to be kids � right? It�s inconceivable to me to think an older person would be doing this.
Well, I�m going to find out I swear. My web cam is off (not that it�s ever that exciting) because I have it set up on motion detect � so it records a video anytime anyone walks near my back porch. If I have to put a light out there � I�ll do it.
Of course I�m not going to be home tonight, so while I�m gone I�m going to be worrying about my lawn chairs and plant.
�Bring them in?�
�Can�t. If I do that � they win.�
I am considering moving though. I have to talk to Jen about it. If a two bedroom apartment opens up in the right spot (not ground level), I�ll consider moving before a townhouse opens up.
�
TONIGHT I AM GOING TO A RED SOX GAME
WITH 40 PEOPLE IN MY DEPARTMENT
ON A BUS
PLEASE KILL ME NOW!
It should be fun � as long as I remember to leave the cool alterna poet persona part of my psyche at home.
Better not leave it on the back porch.
Wet cool-alterna-poet-persona�s smell like shit.
