yep. It's raining.
I walked to work this morning - just like I do 245 out of the 250 weekday's I'm supposed to be there - dodging cars and trucks trying to get me wet.
Yes, random people try to get me wet BEFORE I go to work.
I'm a stud.
A wet stud.
Freekin tires rolling really fast through puddles.
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Yesterday after work I HURT MY ANKLE walking home from work.
OK. let me rephrase that�
Yesterday after work I hurt my ankle WALKING home from work.
What kind of uncoordinated dweeb-monster nearly sprains their ankle WALKING down the street.
Now if I stretch my calve out by lifting my toes up while forcing my heel down and at the same time crank my foot to the right, it hurts like hell, makes a little popping noise, and then aches afterwards. So I keep doing this over and over - just to make sure it still hurts.
I'm alright, I'll be fine, I'm toughing out the pain, all I did was shoot up a little heroin and I'm fine now. I'm at work, so I had to leave the crack pipe at home in the cat's butt.
Never can be too safe.
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Ok, so about my friend's pickup line - "would you like to go out to lunch, dinner, or there's always mini-golf" - about 15 of you replied to me either in email or the guest book. 1 of you sent me a text message saying "the pickup line is cheesy yet quirky yet fun" So if I count that and don't mistake it for something I said drunk to Jen and now she's messing with my mind, I'd have to say about 80 percent of you liked the line as opposed to disliked it. That's it - voting is closed - it's a good, albeit quirky, line.
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Ok, so I'm going to hell for that last entry about graduating. I am one Jaded Pessimistic Realist, I know. Oh and I'm evil. I know this too. Save the hate mail, email stamps don't cost you nothing for nothing�
Um, sure.
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I woke up this morning and had the phrase 'Munchausen by proxy' stuck in my head. Yep, I stood in the shower thinking 'Munchausen by proxy� Munchausen by proxy� Munchausen by proxy�"
"What the hell does it mean?"
So I got to work this morning after repeating to my self while I limped to work all high on my pain killing heroin, "Munchausen� Munchausen�Ow! Munchausen� Damn I'm wet� Munchausen?!! Ow!!" and looked it up.
Munchausen syndrome by proxy - definition: A form of child abuse in which a parent induces real or apparent symptoms of a disease in a child.
Now I need to look up whatever drugs Jen has been feeding me ground up in my food.
"You're one messed up scary mother -shut yo mouth!"
"I know. I know."
Hey at least I'm not singing John Cougar Melancamp in my sleep again.
I fight with Dorothy and Dorothy always wins / Changes come aroung real soon make us swivelin' men / Cause I was born in a small town... and that's where they'll probably bury me...
whatever
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Tomorrow is my advice column. Ask me anything - you'll probably get an answer. Carrot Top even asked me a question. So it's gonna be good.
