Today is the day I answer the questions from the 'ask johnpowers' section of this site.
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name: erato
email:
url: http://erato.diaryland.com
question: how do you pick up a vegan?
date: 11:27 pm - Tuesday,May 22, 2001
Answer:
Carefully. True Vegans are fragile because they have sworn off consuming animal products - such as meat, eggs, and all dairy products - so their bones are thin and their muscles are weak because only the really good Vegans can manage to get enough nutrition.
I'd suggest doing it on this Vegans own turf - read this as don't invite them to a barbecue - look up all you can about Veganism or at least Vegetarianism - you'll need to understand the reasons this person has for not being like the rest of the McCountry, and then ask them out to a Vego restaurant. Chances are this person is a bit whacked out, but that's ok, we all are, so try to pick this person up the same way you would any other person - sans the Hamburger.
If all else fails, use the following line:
"Hi, would like you to go out for a wheat grass salad for lunch, Sweet Potato fries and Shitake Mushroom Burgers for dinner, or there's always mini-golf!"
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name: angelica
email: [email protected]
url: http://angelicagirl.diaryland.com
question: Hey johnpowers, I like reading your diary. This is kind of a stupid question, but ... have you joined every single possible diaryring or what ? Just wondering.
date: 11:10 pm - Tuesday,May 22, 2001
Answer:
No, I have not joined every diary ring. I did attempt to, but some were too far a stretch even for my bizarre need to fit in, and other's just would not accept me. I only joined 247. Why you would ask? I run the Jaded and the Angsty rings. Every time someone joins either ring I have to look at their page and find my links on it - if I can't find the ring code, I have to boot the person from the ring. People get mad when I miss their ring. So, I wanted to make a joke about how some people have this huge diary ring mess where none of them could be found - and I proceeded to add every ring to an entry. It looked like hell. I then organized all of these rings and then realized after the 2 hours it took me to get everything looking good again on my site I might as well join them all and get my kicks by counting how many people give me hell about it.
I only got my kicks about 4 times however, so all in all it was a large effort in typing.
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name: kate
email: [email protected]
url: http://pickled-fae.diaryland.com/
question: I need advice one or all of the following:- 1 How do I hire a hitman? 2 How do I remove chocolate stains from my underwear? 3 How do I know that a text message to johnpowers works if he doesn't answer?
date: 12:12 am - Tuesday,May 22, 2001
Answer:
1 Hitman) - Hire one very discreetly. There is no such thing as a perfect crime, but if you watch the history channel enough you'll be able to pick up enough tips to pull almost anything off. Unless you're involved in organized crime, you will always stand the chance of getting caught
My advice is to infiltrate the Mafia and have one of your new RICO friends do it for you.
2 stains) - How do you know it's chocolate? Never mind, I don't want to know. If it is INDEED chocolate, fill a glass 1/2 empty with coca cola. Stick your underwear in the glass half empty with coke. Let your underwear sit overnight. Rinse with soap and water.
3 text messages) - I receive them. If the screen you see after you click send says that it was successfully sent, then it's a guarantee I receive it.
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name: Carrot Top
email: [email protected]
url: http://www.allstarcharity.com/lot00348.html
question:What should I do? I wanted to support the Dystrophy Association and the general public was only willing to pay $405.00 total for an ENTIRE show of mine. What do I do, I think everyone hates me.
date: 10:26 am - Tuesday,May 22, 2001
Answer:
Mr. Carrot Top, I suggest you quit show business and go back to working at the car wash. People like reality television now - or entertainment with talent. If it's reality television they can do without so much talent - because it's REAL. If it's not real and it sucks - like you do - then you shouldn't be upset when no one wants to watch you to play with your 'box of toys.'
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name: P0etik
email: [email protected]
url:
question: What should a friend do if another friend forgets to come to her hard earned graduation party? Should this first friend tell the second friend that she is really disappointed in him and hurt that he didn't even call? Or should the first friend just realize that the second friend is only "when my girlfriend and I are having problems" friend and cut her loses and move on? Are friends like this worth having in the first place? Thank you, P0etik
date: 9:08 am - Monday,May 21, 2001
Answer:
It sounds to me as you should do both. If a person said they were going to go to your party and then doesn't show up or even call, then they must be self centered. That would explain why when everything is going well with the girlfriend this person becomes unavailable and busy with other things. If they can't make the time for a friendship other than when it is convienet for them, then perhaps this person isn't the type of friend you are looking for.
Of course if the person is agoraphobic and uneasy with crowds, that could be en excuse. Perhaps they were stuck under something heavy and now don't know what to say as they know they hurt your feelings.
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Someone named G. sent me an email asking for advice for not letting someone into a ring they didn�t belong in... I�d suggest that you just be straightforward with the person and tell them that their style doesn�t fit in with what you had in mind for your ring. If they can�t understand that � then it�s not your fault. This is the internet � you�re supposed to be bolder than normal because when you�re dealing in the non-physical world of email and message boards real people can�t physically bother you because of the anonymity. Just tell them like it is and stop opening their emails if they don�t like it.
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As for me, Dave and Chris came over last night. Last night was the first time in forever that all of us hung out together - apart from the Poetry Slam, but that isn't really hanging out. I hardly get a chance to talk to anyone on those nights. Yep, Dave and Chris and me and Jen - eating homemade macaroni and cheese - hanging out. It was fun. Dave's still on my couch. I'm such a good host when I want to be - I even left him a disposable tooth brush.
If you click on 'That' and then the 'Tag' link, you'll get a pseudo chat window. It doesn't have names, but you can leave a one line message every 20 seconds or so. If you've seen a lot of diary's you've seen this little window... so whatever - leave your name if you don't want to sign the guestbook or whatever. Whatever. What - ever. What's with the watevers?
Whatever.
