If I were in the Mafia, every time a friend complained to me about someone they know, I�d offer to have them killed.
�Your sister is pissing you off? Acting like a spoiled brat? Want me to have her killed?�
�Your best friend blew you off to spend an evening with some new person they have the hots for? That�s ok, I�ll bring her to a special meeting� with Jimmy Hoffa.�
�Justin, you don�t think you want to date this woman anymore, but can�t figure out how to break it off? That�s ok, I�ll take her swimming� with the fishes!�
�Your mom took away your phone? Not letting you go out to the pedophile filled rave? Don�t worry, I�ll distract her by bringing her to a nice restaurant and buy her the lead sandwich.�
�The kids are pissing you off again?!? Acting like animals??? I�ll take em away. You can visit them anytime you want, course it�s gonna require you to go to Jersey to say hello to the hands and then Vermont to say hello to the rest of them.�
Somehow I doubt very many people would take me up on my offer.
�
�
I wish someone would take my flu and sell it a pair of cement shoes. johnpowers still feeling like hell� and like the dumb ass that I am � I am at work.
�
Tommorow is the advice column. For some reason, most everyone but Carrot Top seems to be able to solve thier own problems...
�
We had another problem with the stupid dumb people messing with our stuff, only this time they didn't take anything, they left us something.
They left us 2 citronella candles on our outside table. They must be trying to get the heat off of themselves by pinning some stolen bug candles on me � the bad ass guy who sees them walk by and stares at them as they walk away. Call me a wimp, but I didn�t feel like challenging 8 teenagers by bitching them out at 11pm at night � when all they did was take a short cut. If I felt better, I�d have said something, but by the time I found my boots and pulled the tissues out of my nose� well, it was just too much effort to go chasing after them� what with me sick and all. All I could do was follow them off the property and I am sure they took that as a sign of weakness on my part and came back during the middle of the night to set up a frame job� a citronella frame job.
Tonight I get to meet my neighbors while I search for the candles rightful owners.
Anyway, I think I need to get a new hobby, because this chair in the river citronella candle moving war is just too lame�
even for me.
I�m getting tired of this sillyness.
Now if only I knew someone in the mafia� hrmm.