2001-06-20.8:10 a.m.
� ask johnpowers �
� ask johnpowers �
Wednesday is the day I answer the questions from the � advice section of this site.
�
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name: FURY-161
email: [email protected]
url: http://
question:
Did you ever manage to find out the directions to H.P. Lovecraft's grave in Providence? If so, would you mind telling me, as I am keen to visit it myself (as I am a big fan of the Author, and wish to pay my respects) Thanks, FURY-161
answer:
Howard Phillips Lovecraft is buried in Swan Point Cemetery, Providence, R.I., which is just northeast of the Brown University and College Hill area. He and his parents are in the plot belonging to his maternal grandfather, Whipple Van Buren Phillips. Once you enter the cemetery, follow Holly Avenue straight back to Junction Avenue, where you make a left. Directly after that left start looking for Pond Avenue as it curves off to the right. Follow Pond until it meets Avenue B. The family plot is on the east side of the intersection of these two avenues.
When Lovecraft died in 1937, his name was added to a family monument just feet from his gravestone. It was not until many years later that this pictured individual monument was erected at his gravesite.
Click this link for a map to Swan Point cemetery.
Happy hunting, because it is a long walk.
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name: steve aka The New Management aka Word-of-day dude
email:
url: http://word-of-day.diaryland.com
question:
Ummm....I pised some girl off and now i'm afriad she is after me...should I run really fast away or what?
answer:
Some people would say that you should hit a person back if they hit you - even if she's a girl, others would say to turn the other cheek, still others would say you should let someone beat the fuck out of you so you can sue them or their parents and put yourself or your children through college and have enough cash left over to buy all the beer you and your buddies can drink for a year.
However, most people are morons.
Never hit a person back - unless you need to stop them from causing you further damage. After the 8 years total of martial arts I've taken, I can count the number of real fights I've been in on two fingers. Just 2 - I'm not getting cute and using any binary decimal system here. It's not that I can't take care of myself and it's not that I'm not 'tough' - it's that I am smart and my hurting a person real bad will get me nowhere but to court.
One time � not too long ago, my friends and I got into a brawl in the middle of a 4 lane main street one night in Worcester Ma (Park Ave for anyone local) it was 3 on 1 - the 3 being me, Joel and Craig. This big guy broke Joel�s nose in about 2 seconds. Craig had already ran away and I was left standing up to a guy 4 inches taller and 75 pounds heavier - this huge gorilla muscle guy 3 times my size was about to beat the crap out of me, and I stopped him. I stopped him by saying 'it's not worth it man, the cops are gonna come and your cars in the middle of the street.' Now if I said that in some pissed off or freaked out tone, he would have killed me, but I was confident, cool and collected. He just looked at me and said, 'you're right' and then he took off. The cops came less than a minute later, but that isn't a story that relates to this advice.
So the best advice I have is to find a way to talk to her, say you're sorry (even if your really not - yet) and at least try to come to an agreement. You never know if you're going to meet up with the person in the months or years to come and you really can't run from a person forever. You will meet up with them with any bad luck and then you may or may not get your ass kicked, but why find out?
Oh, and if she won't listen to reason, RUN!
�because violence begets violence and once a person starts solving problems with their fists they embark on a cyclical journey that becomes very hard to abandon.
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name: katie
email: [email protected]
url: http://slyparadox.diaryland.com
question:
why do some people keep going back to self-destructive relationships? are they just weak or does it have a lot to do with how their parent's relationship is? i've already drawn some conclusions on this, but i want to know what you think.
answer:
Some people refuse to fail, others have issues with abandonment, some have problems with self image, and yet still others think love alone can save anything.
If the person is the type who refuses to fail, they will continue to try and try again just to make a relationship work. The problem with this thinking is that there is a reason the relationship isn't working and they are probably ignoring those reasons and thus are doomed to fail and fail again.
If the person has issues with abandonment, they will feel that they HAVE to make the relationship work at all costs, because if they don't, then they are never going to meet the right person. They feel they aren't worth much because their mother or father left them at an early age (or they lost a brother... etc) so they have to make this relationship work because if they don't then it will be proven that they are worthless and it will be proven that they don't deserve to have anyone special.
Those with poor self images believe themselves to be stupid or ugly or -> add low self esteem description here <- and thus they keep going back to the person who reaffirms those personal beliefs. It becomes a cycle.
The 'love can save anything people' are operating on a flawed belief system. If you love someone, then you love them enough to compromise and work on the differences that are causing problems in the relationship. The problem is it takes both people in the relationship to work the problems out and if one side isn't willing or especially able, then the relationship is doomed to fail - whether they are soul mates or not.
Often times people will base a relationship on that of their parents. If their parents never argued in front of the children, then the child may have problems dealing with an angry partner. If the parents argued loudly and flew off the handle a lot, then the child may use the same anger management technique.
AND of course nothing is ever cut and dry and often a combination of the above problems (and other factors I've left out) are factors in problem self-destructive relationships...
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name: devildog/docta-j
email:
url:http://docta-j.diaryland.com
question:
slam when u getting tribes 2 please don�t say u quit comp games forever damit your spending tom uch time on this thing its your new allegiance {ie} it must be evil heres a poetic riddle for u this one is hard to understand...but its directed towards u instead of living he is writing about the present writing about writing ... ok thats not supossed to be a diss just wisdom concentrate one what "writing about the present" could mean
answer:
A while back I got really into this online computer game called Allegiance. It in my opinion was and is one of the best online strategy games ever created. Over the course of 7 months I racked up over 1000 hours playing it. It became an obsession. Also during that time, I was a bit depressed and playing the game served as a great distraction. Nothing else mattered while I played it - because it took a lot of concentration and it was really immersive. My online handle for the game was SlamPo8 - hence devildog's (his game handle) reference to me as Slam.
Then one day I just got tired of the game, and I stopped playing so much.
On one level I'm afraid to play another game, because I don't want to become obsessed with it. On another level, I hate to do things and not give them my all, so I don't have much motivation to start playing another.
As for the writing about writing, I really make attempts to not write about diaryland. I view this journal as a way to keep my writing skills sharp and my mental skills acute, plus the 1 hour at most a day I spend writing an entry pales in comparison to the 6 hours a night I used to play online computer games... So I guess I am saying I probably won't be getting into another game anytime soon because I�m coaching a team, my workload at my day job is getting out of control, and for the sake of my relationship with Jen, I won�t ever spend another 1000 hours on a game � instead of dealing with real life. After the last time, I owe her that much (and much more.) Oh, and I'd have to buy a new mouse as mine at home is a total piece of shit.
of course, last night I sat for a while at my computer aimlessly clicking on the banners on my splash page because the adds looked cool
so what do I know?
