Try this for me.
Find a willing partner to help you in an experiment.
Find a very large box.
Find some duct tape.
Find a pencil.
Find enough foam rubber to cover the surface area of the box 3 inches thick.
"Ok, now really go find that stuff and the person. I'll still be here."
"Got it all?"
"Good."
"What's the persons name?"
"Fred? Hi Fred. Don't worry it's painless."
Now put Fred inside that box. Tape it shut and tape all of the foam rubber around the box.
Have Fred use his pencil to poke an air hole or two.
"Can you hear anything Fred?"
(muble mumble)
"No?"
"Can you see anything Fred?"
(muble mumble)
"No?"
"Is there anything to do in there besides masturbate and poke yourself with the pencil?"
(muble mumble ehhhee ha)
"No?"
Well if Fred waits in that box for another 7 hours and 55 minutes, he will be experiencing the exact level of boredom that I currently feel at this moment, and I can't even masturbate in my cube for fear of being fired from my job and having my extraordinarily small penis becoming the talk of the office after my forced departure... and I'm not horny.
Actually I'm kidding...
...about my penis.
I have no idea if it's big or not.
If I tripped on it when I walked there would be no question... and I certainly can't believe what my girlfriend tells me. There would be too many hurt feelings if she actually admitted I was very small. Hrmm... No ex girlfriend has ever tried to hurt my feelings after we broke up by yelling:
"I ONLY USED YOU FOR YOU MONEY AND PLUS YOU'RE OH SO VERY NOT WELL ENDOWED AT ALL!"
...so I just don't know.
Looks like I have no choice but to take the anti-macho point of view today and pretend I know for a fact that I have an extraordinarily small penis...
when in fact I may be extraordinarily huge, but probably not...
Ok, All I know is that I am really bored [see above procedure for determining how bored] and that I am uncertain about my penis size.
I could measure it I suppose.
Do you measure a penis erect or flaccid?
Should I care?
"No."
Great, now I am back to being bored.
