�� new old this that ��

2001-07-03.4:06 p.m.

The day I killed Luke Skywalker

When I was a boy the first Star Wars movie had just come out.

I had the big Millennium Falcon, the X-Wing Fighter, a bunch of action figures � Luke, Lea, Hans Solo, Chewy�

A few years later when I was a bit older The Empire Strikes Back came out.

After that I got one of those Snow Fighters because I wanted to recreate the battle scenes where the tiny snow fighters are tripping those huge AT AT transports things that look like walking dinosaurs.

The only problem was they didn�t make the big transports yet, so me and my grandfather built one out of pine and plywood.

It really sucked and looked nothing like what was in the movie, hell we didn�t even paint it white � we VARNISHED it. I guess the cool thing about it was that the top of it had a big door on hinges so I could store things in it while I wasn�t pretending to kill Luke�s co-pilot.

So one day after some forth of July, I got my hands on some left over fireworks.

Did you know that if you break a small firework almost in half � so its broken almost all the way through but still held together in the shape of a V � and then if you light that broken firework where it split open, it will shoot out sparks like a rocket instead of blowing your fingers off?

I did, and I broke a bunch of the small crackers and taped them all over my Empire Strikes Back snow fighter, lit them, pretended it got hit by fire from my crappy wooden replica transport and threw that cheap ass plastic toy with all my might. Then I started walking my crappy replica of the AT AT Transport towards Luke�s downed shit � ready to kill yet another of his co-pilots�

it�s crappy wooden legs that only bent at the shoulders moved one by one by my probably fire cracker burnt hands�

it�s crappy wooden head scanning side to side looking for it�s Rebel prey�

and then I finally made it to Luke

where I found a nice burnt patch in my Grandmothers lawn where the flaming craft had landed

and then there it was

a pile of melted plastic

the co-pilot fused in back of the ship

it was then that I saw Luke. Poor poor Luke. His left arm was melted to the Taiwanese plastic bone. A leg was stuck to the blackened and curled up canopy�

his head� was gone.

Luke Skywalker was dead!

and I killed him!

and that was ok, because really

I liked Darth Vader better.


Killing Luke was the least I could do.



�� new old this that ��
            














Since Feb 2001





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