Israel braces
� 2 more die amid Hamas threat of suicide attacks
I heard somewhere that these suicide bombers are told that they will receive something like 100 virgin brides once they reach heaven if they martyr themselves. Now, I don't know if it's just me, but if you offered me 100 nymphomaniac supermodels in heaven, I'd consider it... but virgins? It just seems to me like they're killing themselves for 100 bouts of awkwardness and assurances...
"Are you sure?!?"
"Yes, it really does go in there..."
Comcast bid
� $44.5 billion offer for AT&T�s broadband unit
Yay more monopolistic strangleholds on the worlds cable TV and high-speed Internet access behemoth industry.
Peru�s glaciers shrink at rapid pace
� WashPost: Global warming blamed
"Global warming is the cause of shrinkage?"
"Someone call George."
"Hey Kramer, call George."
Condit�s lawyer rejects lie detector
� Attorney dismisses Levys� request
Poor poor Representative Condit. Has affair with intern, kills intern, grinds intern body into little bits, feeds intern bits to sharks off coast of Florida, has to refuse to take lie detector test and lie about intern, gets upset at media for hounding him for killing intern...
Report: Harrison treated for cancer
� Beatle had brain tumor, paper says
Damn, it looks like another one of the Travelling Wilburries is on his way out. Poor Roy, we miss you Roy.
�Cats & Dogs� claws its way to No. 1
� �Scary Movie� is box office runner-up
Anyone see this movie? Any good?
Floyd, Cameron on All-Star rosters
� Eight M�s most in game since 1960
"PINK FLOYD AND CAMERON DIAS? Now that's a wacky game show! AND they have wacky Chickens!"
"psst. that's rosters not roosters and its baseball."
� Newsweek: All in a nombre
With one in eight Americans Hispanic, TV reporters are changing their names to advance their careers... from say Leher to Ortiz.
"Yo quiero some respect pendejo." Check out poet Tommy Mendez if you ever get a chance.
� AIDS rises in prisons, but deaths fall
Even so, AIDS-related illnesses remain the second-leading cause of death in U.S. prisons, accounting for 10.6 percent of all state and federal inmates� deaths in 1999 � second only to natural causes or being executed in Texas for being retarded or sneezing on someone important... yet another reason for me to rob a bank in El Passo..
� Newsweek: Memory�s mind games
The audience was paying close attention: there was going to be a quiz. In one picture a student sitting in a packed lecture hall topples onto the floor. In others, a hand retrieves oranges that have rolled all over a supermarket, and a woman picks up groceries scattered across a floor. Between 15 minutes and 48 hours later, the Boston University undergrads�volunteers in this psychology experiment�scrutinize more photos and, for each one, decide whether they ever saw it before.
"Yup, saw the student carelessly leaning back in his chair."
"Yeah, also saw the guy stupidly take an orange from the bottom of the pile."
"Uh-huh, saw the grocery bag rip."
In all, 68 percent of the time the students remembered seeing the �cause� picture (a ripping bag) whose effect (spilled groceries) had been part of the show.
One problem...
The slides did not include a single such cause photo. �When people saw the effect photo but not the cause photo, they �filled in the blank� by saying they had seen the cause with their own two eyes, their mind�s drive to infer causes can fool them into �remembering� something they never saw. In other words �memories can be illusions� and that is one of the reasons why eye witness testimony in court cases is so often flawed.
� NAACP chairman critical of Bush
Isn't it strange seeing Bush's name so far down on the headlines? It has to be a plot. It HAS to, there's no way losing control of the Senate will completely stop his schanangans.
� johnpowers and Jen finish family photo album reproduction
Phew. Together we spent about 50 hours on that damn thing. If my mother doesn�t like it, I�m getting a new mother. Well not quite, but I�ll be mad.
