Today I have yet another 1/2 day... I think I'm gearing up for my upcoming vacation, err, I mean my duties as coach of the slam team during Nationals. Did I mention it's in Seattle? Let's hope nothing falls on me while I'm out there - like a building if they get another earthquake, or a left over WTO protestor.
This afternoon me and 4 other poets are driving in a Van to Vermont... Q: "What do you get when you stick 4 vegan/vegetarian poets with gas in a van with gas for 5 hours?" A: "My life."
Hey! Today is Friday and Friday is Horrorscope Day.
Aries 3/20-4/18
Coffe. Iced coffee, hot coffee, coffee toddy. Try eating breakfast and less for dinner for 1 week and then assess how you feel. Cereal.
Taurus 4/19-5/19
If someone gives you free tickets and you don't have a good time, does the giver still feel bad? Yes, so fake it and bite your tongue, because nothing in life is truly free. Eat anything at all ferchristsakes.
Gemini 5/20-6/20
"Johnny, Angry Johnny, this is Jezebel in Hell." Yes, I'm channeling again and have a message for you from the beyond: "Turn the answering machine off." Eat a carrot.
Cancer 6/21-7/21
Don't worry about living in the past, there's no such thing. Go out side and grab a big rock. Drop it on your foot. See? The past didn't go anywhere, did it? Did it? Did it? Egg salad on rye.
Leo 7/22-8/22
R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Sing it! Demand it. Daily. Eat some salad.
Virgo 8/23-9/21
The ends of your candle have almost met in the middle. Buy a new candle after taking a long long long nap... just make sure its not in dirt. Orange Juice.
Libra 9/21-10/22
Cut back on smoking, drinking, and get 1 extra hour of sleep for 1 week strait. Then fight it out with the Aries for how good you feel. Water, drink much more water.
Scorpio 10/21-11/21
Pen. Paper. Stereo. Tape a - anything you like. Now write. Go through your dirty clothes, there's money in there. Remember the Maine. Oranges.
Sagittarius 11/22-12/20
You've done some nice things for people lately. If you haven�t been thanked, then consider this a poor substitute. Stay away from Ham, get nearer to the Leo's salad.
Capricorn 12/21-1/20
He's racing and bracing and plotting his course... he's going the distance. Throw a small party for someone special, just make sure it's not a party in your pants. Cake.
Aquarius 1/21-2/19
I almost forgot your horoscope today. I wouldn't stand for that and neither should you. Speak your mind 3 times in the next 2 days. Sausage - be it real or not.
Pisces 2/20-3/19
Thank all of your fans. They are feeling under appreciated. Remember without them you would just be yourself. Eat some rock star pudding - tapioca.
