This clipboard is a shovel
Super bowl weekend two winters ago my friend Dave Blank and I went on tour.
We had a hellish ride after a pretty good feature in Jersey and made it to the woman's house we were staying at in DC around 3 in the morning.
She had her daughter sleep on the floor of her brother's room and had me sleep in her daughter's bed - which was really nice, but I felt bad about that... a floor would have been fine with me.
That morning our host fed us, we showered and we drank coffee - lots of coffee... Then Dave whispers to me,
"We're on tour."
"Yes we are."
"Aren't we supposed to be suffering? Miserable? Dirty? Aren't we supposed to be ON TOUR?!?" he kept going... "We don't even smell bad!"
I hissed "You're crazy, this house is nice..."
then I told him to relax and go with the flow, and I was really shocked that I had to whisper "go with the flow" - let me tell you...
then around noon it started to snow. It started to snow so hard that they shut down Washington. It started to snow so hard that they shut down Washington and the venue I had my featured performance in.
Dave and I looked at each other, realized we would have to stay another night, I didn't want to impose, he felt out of place, and we both were itching for a little adventure.
I said, "The super bowl is on tonight."
"You like foot ball?"
"When I'm watching it at Guy's house in New York City - our friend with lots of beer."
"Aha!"
So we thanked our hostess for being so wonderful, and started driving north to New York city in the middle of a blizzard because we were in a Jeep with 4wd and what possibly could happen?
What could happen?
Well, 4 hours later we found ourselves stuck in a ditch on the side of I95 because we tried to stop and were sucked down an embankment into a snow drift of about 4 feet in height and suddenly the tires were no longer touching the ground.
That can happen.
A tow truck stopped and offered to pull me out...
for 200 bucks.
I said screw him
"Screw you!"
grabbed the only possible thing I could find to dig with in the back of my jeep - my clip board - and started to dig myself out of the 4 feet drifts of snow.
Two pick up trucks stopped, seeing the glint of its metal clip whirling through the air as I flailed away with the brown particle board end of the paper holding device - getting absolutely no where, probably snickering to themselves and offered to help...
for 20 bucks.
Now that I could deal with.
So we were soon on our way and 9 hours after we left DC, we made it to Guy's.
We were dirty, we smelled only the way two people trapped in a jeep going out of their minds from driving in blizzard bound traffic for 9 hours (with a short snow bank detour) could, we felt miserable, we missed the super bowl, but we had a tour story.
I'd say it was worth it.
In a dumbass sort of way.
