� Answers - an advice column �
Right now I am so thirsty I'm beginning to look like a strip of beef jerky, which is not good, because I like beef jerky and I haven't had breakfast yet.
I think I'll go to the Corporate Cafe and get a bagel instead of gnawing on my arm until lunch.
So... every Wednesday I become The Answer Guy. If you need advice or need the answer to something, click on any of the � advice links on this site and ask anything you would like to.
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name: Anonymous
email:
url: http://
message:
If you quit your job today and suddenly found your dream job, what would that job be?
answer:
I would like to be a paramedic. My mother runs a hematology lab at a hospital and I've always been exposed to medicine and hospitals. I also know that the medical profession holds the same pitfalls and many unique ones as other professions. I've had a good number of loved ones die so far in my life, but I don't associate hospitals with death...
I associate churches with death - funerals - rituals for the living, letting you know that soon it will be time to stop grieving...
but not hospitals. Hospitals are where they try to make you comfortable... to save you... to assure you... birth you, let you die with a touch of dignity.
It all seems a little more noble than crunching text into programs into tools that crunch numbers into money that gets handed over to the government... err, I mean being a tax programmer.
Oh, and while I was a life guard in college, I had the certification to drive an ambulance, but I never got the chance...
and I think I'd like to get that chance.
"WOOOO WOOOO WOOOOO.... Move it Buddy, we got a live one here!"
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name: m0ok
email: [email protected]
url: http://m0ok.diaryland.com
message:
When making a fish eye lens, what is the best type of fish to use?
answer:
Well...
One of the best superwide fisheye lenses that Nikon makes called the Nikkor 13mm f5.6. has a diameter of 115mm or 4.527559 inches.
Now I know a squid is not technically a fish, they're mollusks and are in the same family as slugs, snails and most shellfish, so work with me here.
Giant squid are the largest of all the mollusks growing up to 60 feet in length and weighing up to a 1 ton. Their huge eyes, which can measure up to 10 inches in diameter, are the biggest eyes and possibly the most advanced in the animal kingdom.
So... Assuming, that bigger is better, I'd get yourself a giant squid, pop out its eyeballs and take some nasty smelling, yet pretty none-the-less pictures.
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name: G.I. Ho
email: [email protected]
url: http://garyhoare.diaryland.com
message:
If our girlfriends got into an all-out fistfight, who would win. And, how much could we get for the footage?
answer:
I think Mel would win for most of the fight - until enough pent up frustration... pent up inside Jen so that she finally exploded into a whirling dervish that looked like a really cute Tasmanian devil.
We could sell the rights to Disney... for... a ham sandwich?
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name: Sara
email: [email protected]
url: http://neon-rays.diaryland.com/
message:
is it wrong when you have to try to be nice and a good person? if deep down your sleezy and horrid.
answer:
Causing others harm for no reason - even if it's emotional harm, is not only not nice, but its a sure fire way to have someone do something really nasty to you when you least expect it...
like using your computer after you leave to download nasty pictures of bestiality and then email them to your boss.
So its not wrong and while it sucks to have to go against your nature, you are in fact using a survival technique for today's society.
You sleazy horrid person you!
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ps. Check out Shito and sign his guestbook or else he's gonna kill a bug.
pps. I just read one of the best entries in my life (if you are around fanatical vegan's a lot) Thanks Gary.
ppps. M0ok clued me into a story about Seattle - which explains why I didn't enjoy myself there, I obviously ran up against the small group of people M0ok is referring to in M0ok's entry.
pppps. Check out my profile for a cute little trick I figured out. Some of you have already figured this out. Right Genghis?
