& the girl with the guitar and no hair is on the stereo
& we're at a party
a house party
I know I'm the most sober guy here, probably the oldest
Sally's off with her artist friend
how she met this guy, I have no idea,
I didn't even bother to ask
but I'm sitting on the artist couch
and all I can think is I can't talk
I have nothing to complain about
talking about politics isn't fashionable
no one wants to hear about YOUR cause
do people still have causes?
Camelot was a long time ago
& if you ever heard Utah Phillips speak
then you heard him quote Hamen Hanessey
"Ever hear that name, Hamen Hannesey?"
well Hamen Hanesey said, "you love the land but you hate the country"
Utah quoted Hamen quoting Mark Twain
"loyalty to the country always, loyalty to the government when it deserves it"
& it's true, politics isn't fashionable
that's probably why your nodding, could be the beer
& maybe it's because the government doesn't deserve it
& that's the nineties
Apathy markets selling Blas� at 50% off for 50% more
& sure the eighties were the decade of credit
70's me me me
the 60's had Camelot, but a bullet & a war took care of that
& I got nothing to talk about
I got nothing to complain about
I need a cause
something people still care about
I keep going between being fine & wanting a drink so bad
I'm saving quarters just in case
I buy beer by the six pack now
no more no less & 6 won't get me drunk
so I'm fine
I'm fine
the last time I drove w/ a beer between my legs was weeks ago
so I'm fine
I haven't missed work from a hangover in weeks
SO I'M FINE
I hit a telephone pole at 70, but I lived & that was years ago,
SO IM FINE!
But DARE took care of all of this
this doesn't happen to kids now, so they don't care
no one talks about aids anymore
no one gets it anymore
& there's this girl on the couch
& she's upset that she only has 1 more year of frat parties left
& I can't talk
I wanna say "gee next year you'll have to have sex sober"
half the people in this room worry if the art on their walls is kitsch enough
or too kitsch
or if their work is approaching kitsch
& what should they do about it
& I start thinking I've been around these artists too much
because I'm using words like KITCH
& I have nothing to talk about
& yesterday a guy said happy people make bad poets
& I'm happy & I can't talk
I wanna cross the street
hit the bar
walk in
& get pissed
pissing drunk
wrap myself around another pole
the right way
make someone cry the easy way
& yeah I can't talk
I can't tell anyone
& there's this Disco girl on the couch saying the 90's are about flashbacks
for those who took LSD & those who wish they did
I think the girls just stoned
the 90's are about retro and gambling
bringing back old trends and pushing new addictions
cultural phenomenon
& that's lazy
the gambling commissioners making money for their states at the expense
of the populous hooked scratch tickets and Powerball is the same marketing exec
popping pills of ecstasy saying yeah fluorescents make me hard
is gonna come down & right before the last bit of serotonin drips from his brain
he's gonna bring back grunge rock
cause he's lazy and can't think
creatively
& I got a closet full of flannel
so I guess I'm full of it
and maybe we should talk more
maybe I should tell people how I feel
just like you said my love
my sweetest love
talk about my problems
but taking about talking doesn't do much,
it's like writing poetry about poetry
that's like loving someone just because they love you
it makes as much sense as always packaging things into decades
the Vietnam war heated up in 1964 and ended in 1972,
how do you package that
& Utah Philips said that too
& I can't talk
I can't snap people out of their "Cryonic Torpors"
& I can't stop quoting him
that beats sticking in my head
I can't come up with thoughts of my own
I can't talk
I can't talk
I can't talk to you
but your right
your right my love
when I do, I should talk about what's bothering me
& it won't be something you can use against me
when I do it'll be about how I feel
I'll leave the causes to someone who cares
& talk to you about why I'm sitting in this room
without you.
�
I wrote this three years ago - around 1998 - about something that happened in 1996. Sally was the girlfriend from hell I refer to in the piece above.
It never ceases to amaze me � the way things have changed for me in 5 years � in three years � and in just one month.
Have a good Saturday,
John
