�� new old this that ��

10.18.01.12:16 pm

Excuses Excuses...

I planned on writing my advice column at work this morning, so last night I copied your questions to a floppy disk (heh heh, he said floppy) and brought it in with me.

Then when I went to open the file, I was informed the disk had somehow gone bad over night.

"Computers... can't live with 'em can't throw them out of your 11th floor office window without killing a pedestrian and getting arrested for being an electronic terrorist."

"Uhhh huh."

So I'm posting a quick note on my lunch break.

So here's my note.

Here, take the note

TAKE IT!!



Ahem.



My new apartment has 17 windows. The last place I just moved out of had two windows.

I've been squinting a lot.



Last night I decided to try out one of the fireplaces. I checked the flu to make sure there would be no chimney fires before I've lived there for a week, built a small yet cozy fire that caused the cat to expose his belly to warmth and possible fur singing embers, and sat back.

The fire places are the old 1930's design - with a small trap door in the back that lets you sweep the spent fire remains down a shaft to an ash pit in the basement. You let the fire go out, the next day you send the ashes into the basement, you sweep up a bit and you're done. Great idea. In theory.

Well, as the fire was burning, a log fell and knocked the trap door open and then the door and burning wood fell through the chute into the basement. This - apart from almost burning down the basement - gave the fire way too much oxygen and the flames took off like a scram jet up the chimney.

I sprinted outside because at first I thought I actually had a chimney fire. I looked up at the roof and there was no heavy smoke or flames shooting into the sky, so I ran back in and only then discovered that the ash soot chute door was open.

So I ran to the basement, opened the ash pit door, saw the burning wood in there, and put it out with a bucket of water.

Trust me, it may not sound exciting or scary now, but I thought for sure I was going to be arrested for being an inadvertent arsonist dumb ass.



I plan on not using either fireplace again until I get a piece of cast iron to better cover those ash traps

and invest in a fire extinguisher.



The woman who lived in my apartment before me trashed the place.

The bathroom ceiling fan is broken.

All 3 fridge door bars that hold the condiments in are broken off.

The produce crisper draws and the shelves they rest in are broken off.

The dishwasher's bottom jets are broken off.

She left with a few ceiling lights - that I've since replaced.

There was dog food chunks (wet and dry) in the heater ducts in the kitchen.

Caked on food... stuff in most of the kitchen cabinets.

Gouges and holed in the walls and floors. Cracks in a few windows.

Broken off light bulb bases in a few light sockets.

Dabs of gunky waxy substances on all the floors.

Broken closet doors.

Double sided foam tape was ringed around the bathroom sink.

There were mystery stone like... things jamming the garbage disposal.

The dryer ducts were jammed with so much lint that the clothes wouldn't dry - just catch on fire.

The garage was full of a ton of her junk that she just removed half of yesterday.

Only 1 of the phone jacks in the apartment works.

The oven lights don't work.

The sink faucet isn't screwed in anymore and the spray nozzle hose thingy isn't attached at all.

There are mystery light switch covers in random places on the walls...

and there's more but you all probably became bored with my list 17 items ago.



So needless to say since I've moved in I've mostly been fixing things. Many many things. It's a good thing I grew up with my grandfather - the man who could fix and or build anything.

Because based on the amount of handiwork I've been doing since I've moved in and based on my to-do list, I'm certain he would be proud.



However the apartment is still wonderful - despite all of the plentiful small annoying problems - and Jen and I are so happy with it.

Really. We are.



Well, I have to run. Expect another update sometime after 5pm.

Later.



�� new old this that ��
            














Since Feb 2001





Long time no update. - 12.19.09

Clinton or Obama? - 2007-10-04

Two workshop Providence paid gig - looking for instructor - 2007-10-03

Big brother - 2007-09-26

Favorites - 2007-08-30