Every Wednesday I become Answer Man. There are a few advice links on this site that won't be working again until Saturday, so if you don't want to wait to ask me a question until then, feel free to email me.
Hey, if you're looking for a good movie to watch, the other day I watched Gallipoli. It's from 1981 and it's great. Mel Gibson at age 24 is in it, plus another lead who's name I can't remember. While set Australia during WWII and then later in the battles to take Turkey, it's not just a war film and worth the watch.
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From:bathsheba.diaryland.com
Question:
Hi Johnpowers, Answer Man,
So. I have a question. What's the best antidote to heartbreak? and I'm
hoping you don't say "Time." I mean, I was thinking of a ritual burning of
objects in my possession that came from the Devil Who Broke My Heart (DWBMH
[TM]), though I do worry that this will only serve to make me more bitter
and twisted and might qualify as, ahem, dysfunctional. What do you think? A
little bonfire, a little trancelike chanting, a few appeals to the patron
saint of Women Scorned? Or do I really only have cocooning with bad TV and
ice cream to look forward to as my cure? Because that sounds really boring
and makes me feel like a character in Bridget Jones. I want to scatter some
evil dust on the DWBMH, even if from a great distance. Can't I dally in a
little righteous psycho-emotional retribution without sullying my karma
and/or tilting the scales of good toward evil? Because he deserves it.
Looking forward to your words of wisdom,
bathsheba.diaryland.com
Answer:
I would go out and get laid.
A small bonfire of possessions certainly wouldn't hurt and it's not dysfunctional, it's primeval.
The important thing is to not let yourself wallow in it. You've lost something, and that loss is the relationship you assumed would still be there. Since you yourself didn't choose to end it, it hurts that much more.
Time will make it better, but if you never let yourself move on, waiting for all eternity to pass won't change a thing.
You need to go out, meet other people, hand out with friends in public places, do the things you used to do before you met him, and most of all tell yourself, "Well, if he didn't want to be with me, then he's not worth it."
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From:electricsigh.diaryland.com
Question:
Dear johnpowers,
My father came home from work today drunk. I would be only irate at him if
he just stumbled home, but he *drove.* He *drove* home from work, which is
in Denver, nearly two hours away, driving 75 miles per hour. He probably
wasn't all that drunk, but when I walked up to the car he had a empty beer
bottle in his hand and a 24 case. I don't know why he did something so stupid
like this... His father was killed by a drunk driver, and nearly him as
well. My great-grandfather comitted suicide and had severe depression
(which my father also exhibits). I don't know what to do... I have a
young brother and my parents fight all the time. I don't want my brother to
have to go through all the bad things that I did when I was a child... How
can I get him to stop?
thanks,
Sarah
(electricsigh.diaryland.com)
Answer:
You can't. No one can make their parents change.
You can talk to him and tell him that you worry about him and that you don't want to lose him. Tell him how you felt growing up with him drinking and tell him how concerned you are that your little brother will have to go through the same thing.
Even if he stopped at the neighborhood liquor store, bought the case of beer and
then drank one on the short drive home, there seems to be a deeper problem besides the vehicular alcohol use.
I would talk to him and your mother and see if you could convince them to get some marriage counseling. If they go, then your father may be referred to someone who could help him with his depression as well.
Talk to them, tell them how you feel. Not that you're angry, but how it makes you feel when they fight and how it used to make you feel when you were little - the same age as your bother is now
and don't think this will be easy. Getting some parents to take their children's concerns seriously is always a tough proposition.
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From:fatbuddha.diaryland.com
Question
Johnpowers,
Every once in a while I lose vision in my right eye . First it gets weak,
then I start to see spots, and then everything goes black . This usually
lasts about 10-15 minutes. The last time I had an eye exam was about 2
months ago, and I have 20/20 vision . Any ideas of why this happens ? [
You seem to know everything else :) ] Should I see another optometrist ?
Thanks . You rock my socks .
-staci , fatbuddha.diaryland.com
Answer:
Temporary blindness is indicative of several hundred different diseases and disorders. Are there any other symptoms - such as dizziness? Headaches? Do you have to pee a lot? Always have a thirsty feeling? Fatigue? Do you suffer from migraines?
"It might be a tumor."
"It's not a tumor!"
Sorry, it's been so long since I quoted Kindergarten Cop, I couldn't help myself.
Look (no pun intended), first you need to see your primary care physician. He will check you for diabetes, possibly give you a cat-scan, band on your knee's - and then possible refer you to an ophthalmologist.
Temporary blindness can be serious. Go see a medical doctor.
Unless of course, you've taken up staring directly into the sun with one eye as a hobby. If that's the case, STOP THAT.
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From: hapithoughts.diaryland.com
Question:
I sent this in email cause your @home stuff is all whacked-out.....
I need your help, John-guru. I moved out to Toronto on the proddings of a
friend, and he said that I could stay with him until I got a plce and job.
He liked me in a more-than-friends way at the time, and for a while I
thought I liked him too. I told him that my feelings change all the time,
and that it's not too safe to like me. Before I moved to Toronto I told
him that we would only be friends, nothing more. Once I moved out here he
told me he still liked me, but acted in a way that lead me to believe I was
right in not wanting a relationship with him. He turned into a rude and
bitter guy, and I think that's who he was all along - he was just putting
up a front before.
I found it harder than I thought it would be to get on my feet and get my
own place. I spent three months at his house, and couldn't pay any rent.
He added up half the months rent for each month I was there, and I am now
slowly trying to pay him back.
Now for the question : I can't afford to pay him, at the rate I'm going I
won't be done paying until October of 2002. All my other bills are behind
because of this, and I am looking for another job just so I can keep up.
Should I just forget about giving him the money? He never talks to me
other than to ask for it, he turned out to not be a real friend at all.....
And it's not like this money is out of his pocket. He doesn't need it to
survive, but I do.... And to add to the complication, my new boyfriend
works for his company, and I don't want to cause any problems for him....
I live in a soap opera, and I don't have a script, I really need your
help!!!!
Crystal
http://hapithoughts.diaryland.com
Answer:
Well, in the U.S. if you stop giving him money, all the guy could do would be to take you to small claims court. Considering you weren't on the lease, and never seemed to have even a verbal agreement saying you would split the rent, I doubt he would win any money.
However, if you want less drama, you should figure out all of your bills, then figure out exactly how much you can pay him - even if it's 20 dollars. Then
tell the guy that you can't afford to pay him anything but 20 dollars a month right now and you are looking for a new job. Tell him to take it or leave it, because he offered to let you stay with him and never talked about rent until he realized he wouldn't be getting any booty.
Personally, I'd tell him to pound sand.
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From:name withheld per request
Question:
Hey Mr. Popular JohnPowers,
you have a lot of favorites, and I noticed they go up and down with the number of people listing you. How do you handle it when someone stops listing you as one? It pisses me off and makes me sad.
Answer:
Diaryland isn't Popularity Contest Land. The Diaryland favorites listing is about you and is also a very easy way to know when a person's diary you like has been updated.
So how do I not let it bother me when someone essentially tells me they don't appreciate my writing when they drop me as a favorite?
Well, I just tell myself "To each is own." and realize that not everyone has the same taste in writing or topics.
For some strange reason whenever I post a picture with an entry, someone drops me as a favorite. It happens all the time - almost every time. Am I going to stop posting pictures now and then? Nope, that would be silly. Why censor myself?
For some other reason, whenever I've said something negative about Bush - even before Sept 11 - people would drop. I bet if I chose to write about Afghanistan a lot more - more and more people would continue to drop me.
Does it bother me? Sure, but writing about what others want - or specifically not writing about what people don't want - would bother me even more.
So if you're really into accumulating favorites pick your writing topics carefully - so as to not offend and to not be controversial at all - and stick to that.
Otherwise, use Diaryland as a diary, a journal, a place to keep your writing polished, or as I do - all 3.
