�� new old this that ��

11.18.01.1:17 pm

Yours for only 17.98!!



The woman who lived in my apartment before me never had her mail forwarded, she also didn�t pay her rent for 3 months before she moved out. Supposedly she ran a candelabra businesses out of this place and amazingly enough IT FAILED.

This explains why I keep finding all these strange waxy like substances all over the place and why there are several nasty looking letters a week arriving from lawyers and utility companies.

Now that�s all fine and whatever, right now I�m just letting her mail pile grow larger and larger, but every once in a while a strange catalogue shows up.

There was a catalogue filled with really strange things � such as dildos and self help videos from Dr. Ruth.

There was an entire catalogue of American Flag products

And yesterday arrived the �As Seen On TV� product showcase that included the little gem you see above.

Now tell me, thousands of years from now when we�re all a foot note in history along the lines of the roman empire, is this the type of thing we really want to have archaeologists and anthropologists finding?

�It appears they really liked to hit little balls with sticks while not wearing pants��

AND BESIDES WHO THE HELL IS SO BUSY OR SO LAZY THAT THEY HAVE TO PRACTICE THEIR GOLF PUTT ON THE TOILET!!?!?

It�s all just beyond me.

Is the best score you can get with this thing a hole in two?

If you masturbate in the bathroom while this thing is in there, how many strokes do you count?

Does the size of your bathroom decide if this is regulation golf or miniature golf? Does it depend on the size of your penis?

Because let�s face it folks, only a guy is going to buy this thing:

a single, older guy who�s dated three times in his life and two of those times was with his cousin�

Now if you�ll excuse me, I have to take a shower along with my imitation poetry slam suction cup audience that automatically scores my luffa performance.



ps. If you want to order 'Toilet Golf' you can call 1-800-377-7878 and order crappy item number F4283 - lines are said to be open 24 hours a day...



�� new old this that ��
            














Since Feb 2001





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