I write this answer and advice column once a week - every Wednesday. Of the many links to the question form on this site, this is another one.
ask johnpowers
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name: Jennifer
email:
url: http://
question:
Okay johnpowers, you're my last hope! I have wondered this for many years, and asked many people, and nobody has ever been able to tell me! Where does the white go when snow melts? Where does it come from in the first place? If you don't know, I may have to give up on life, so please at least make up a reasonable sounding answer!!
Answer:
The white in snow is ice. Ice crystals actually. These crystals refract light in a way that looks white to us - and when it melts, the crystalline structure turns back into a liquid which is clear and thus the white goes bye bye.
Ok, I'm lying. There are no crystals. Satan doesn't like snow and whenever he realizes it's around he comes up from the bowels of hell to steal it's whiteness back to the nether world of unending torture.
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name: beckie
email: [email protected]
url: http://lonelyagain1.diaryland.com
question:
hey johnpowers-
can you explain image hosting to me? I want to put up pictures in my diary withought buying a gold membership. (what can i say, I just can't afford it.) so, how do I do it?
Answer:
To display images in diaryland you need to store your images on a server that lets you remotely display them. This server is the host. You can gain access to an image host through that gold membership or on a server somewhere else. Some places let you store an image on their server for free, but that image will only display if it is on a web page stored on their server. anglefire.com is like that. Other sites will let you do anything you want, but they usually cost some fee per year or month.
Check out WebMonkey for some good image hosting tips... free and otherwise.
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name: kevin
email: [email protected]
url: http://jackviolent.diaryland.com
question:
the question in all its simplest forms will be this: how will i deal with everybody getting what they want except for me?
Answer:
3 ways:
1) You could develop a resolve and sense of drive that would enable you to one day provide just about anything you ever desire and never again be left wanting. From that point forward you would always be able to say "screw them and their things."
2) Murder.
3) Say "screw them and their things." A great portion of the western world is so focus on the material. The U.S. is a consumer society - its always get the newest phone, listen to the next hottest band, all of the fashions have changes time to go shopping. Really, where is the joy in buying and owning? Actually?
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name: curltwirler
email: [email protected]
url: http://curltwirler.diaryland.com
question:
An Ann Landers one for ya:
When in the presence of Chinese acquaintances at a Chinese restaurant, what do you think about eating badly with chopsticks in front of them? If you were them would you laugh at me later?
Answer:
Here's an Ann Landers answer for you: Don't fall into the trap of generalization. Would every American laugh at a Chinese person who's never used a fork? Certainly not. Know the people you are interacting with - and if they are so shallow that not knowing how to use a utensil you've never been exposed to is humorous to them - then perhaps their opinion shouldn't matter to you at all.
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name: Dave
email: [email protected]
url: http://th3dhorseman.diaryland.com/020103_53.html
question:
How can I make all my dreams come true, as outlined in the URL I gave above this box in the form?
[added by johnpowers]
From reading the entry you linked to I have gathered you have a two part question:
1) How can you find the perfect girlfriend.
2) How can you get someone to say "Don't worry about your rent Dave, I gotcha covered."
[end of addition]
Answer:
Your two part question can be answered in one part by acknowledging that for you to have the perfect girlfriend and someone to pay your rent now and then you will have to go out and find the perfect girlfriend who is also rich.
So how can you find the perfect rich girlfriend?
You can start looking - that's how. Actively looking. If you're not meeting people at your current hangouts, you're going to have to get some new hobbies new activities - explore new interests.
Do something you enjoy that has people of the opposite sex there. Even if your most absolute favorite thing to do in the world is take steam baths at the local spa, chances are you're not going to be seeing any potential dates in the men's locker room.
Be picky. Perfect and quick never go together. This will take time and effort - the effort of admitting to yourself that a person that may like you a lot, is not the best fit for you. Move on. Save them the heartbreak of realizing you were just using them for occasional sex and someone to go out on dates with you and your truly happy couple friends.
Then when you find that person - that truly perfect person who wants to stay up all night discussing Faust, existentialism and who the next guest on TRL might be,
ask to see her bank statements.
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name: Leslie
email: [email protected]
url: http://
question:
Whose line IS it anyway?
Answer:
I believe it is COMEDY CENTRAL's line. They own the line, they operate the line, they come up with the new lines.
Yes, I believe COMEDY CENTRAL and whoever owns them owns Whose line is it Anyway.
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name: Sarah
email: [email protected]
url: http://adelphi.diaryland.com
question:
Dear John,
Do you not find it ironic that of your eight some-odd (is that hyphenated?) resolutions, none of those are to quit smoking full-heartedly?
Answer:
I find it better to not talk about my quitting smoking. Talking about quitting smoking makes me think of smoking...
Those wafts of smoke rising shortly after inhaling that oh so sweet scent of sulfur from a struck match.
The glowing ember of burning tobacco. The neatly wrapped cylinder supporting that ember, the feel of a cotton wrapped in mottled tan paper - just thick enough to let stained fingers know their geography their proximity to the flame.
The rising and falling the bending and unbending at the elbow as you raise the origami cylinder to your parted lips.
The inhale, the slightly held breath, the long exhale of gray of troubles of stresses from hours past tensions of days long of sex of coitus of fall back upon bed waking up mid morning of sneaking out for some fresh air a few minutes after lunch.
Ummm.
No... Where was I? Ah yes, talking about my quitting smoking doesn't seem to help me quit. I don't think about cancer, my heart, my lungs, the smell of my breath or clothes, I just think about smoking - so I've chosen to try to ignore it all and so far since Jan 1st I haven't smoked.
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name: Piper
email: [email protected]
url: http://white-rook.diaryland.com
question:
A fine and happy New Year to you, All-Knowing One! Here is my latest query...
What is your name?
What is your quest?
What is your favorite color?
(Watching MP as we speak... :D )
Answer:
My name is johnpowers.
I am on a quest to find a never ending supply of cheetos.
My favorite color is blue. No. RED!
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
(johnpowers is seen falling into the abyss.)
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name: Aimee
email: [email protected]
url: http://torimaureen.diaryland.com
question:
I started my current job 6 months ago as temp with the promise that I would be hired permanently on January 1st, 2002. Now that that day has come and gone, I've been told that I have to wait until 2003, and then, maybe...
I have no insurance, sick days, vacation days, or other benefits, except for the fact that I get Listerine Oral Care Strips for 25 cents a pack.
So, my question is, do I stay or do I go? I make decent money, but this whole "not knowing" thing is making me nuts. Is the cash worth my sanity?
Answer:
You need benefits. Its a fact. You could get sick, into an accident, you need time off for sanity sake, and I'm sure there is some clause somewhere - where you can't resell those oral care strips for profit.
Start looking for a job with Benny's and then leave your current one. Once a company breaks a promise to you - chances are they will break more.
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name: Steve
email:
url: http://word-of-day.diaryland.com
question:
Why do I like ketchup on My eggs? And do you like ketchup on you eggs?
Answer:
I like ketchup on my scrambled eggs. I call them poor man's eggs benedict, because that is what my mother called them when I was little and she and I were very poor and living on our own in a tiny little apartment in the middle of small town USA with giant wooden spoons hanging on the kitchen walls.
Why do you like them? Eggs unseasoned are bland - especially if they are scrambled and made with water with no salt or pepper.
Perhaps you like THE TASTE?
