Finding humor in Monday Morning's news since February 2001.
ENRON SCHMENRON
� Who cares besides the people who worked for Enron?
Republicans control the House, Bush is a republican, no presidential scandal will come out of this.
Bush 'feels great' after fainting spell
� President choked on pretzel
(Scene: George Bush watching the Dolphins)
"Chomp" The president eats another pretzel.
(Announcer) "And the Dolphins are crossing the 50."
"Chomp" The president eats another pretzel.
(Announcer) "And the Dolphins are crossing the 45, 40, 35... FUMBLE! The Dolphins Fumbled the ball!"
"DAMN YOU DOLPHINS I BET 500 BUCKS ON YOU FISH!"
"hoRk gAaA khaAAA!"
"Thud."
� Police to look at Prince Harry pot use
Same first names. Prince Harry is British. Harry Potter is British. Prince Harry smoked Pot. Pot is the first three letters of Potter. Harry Potter used pots (cauldrons) as a wizard. Prince contains the same number of letters as Potter!
IS IT A COINCIDENCE OR EVIL LUMINATI PLOT?!!?!
Or is it the Vegans again?
�
Happy Monday and all that Jazz.
I had a rather strange interaction happen in the elevator at work this mornning. I'll tell you about it tomorrow.
What's with the phrase "All that Jazz"? Does it mean anything? "and all that blues"? "and all that punk rock"? "and all that Yanni Live from the Mecropolis"?
None of it sounds right. The phrase "and all that projectile diarrhea" sounds as eloquent as "and all that jazz."
Fuck Jazz.
That's what I say. Fuck Jazz. Screw Jazz right in the lowercase 'a'. Make the lowercase 'a' moan and then leave it unfulfilled never to be loved when it appears in the phrase "and all that jazz" again.
�
I've clearly gone too far, and with that I shall now stick 47 nicotine patches to various parts of my body and go skip skip skipping back to work.
Peace.
