�� new old this that ��

01.16.02.8:11 am

� Answers �

This week's questions run the gambit. From jealousy to life after death to Yahoo, to trashing cars, to how to quit smoking, and right back full circle with poop and Jay Severin! We have it all.

Feel free to ask a question of your own, and next Wednesday it will be answered.

ask johnpowers
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name: G.I. Ho
email:
url: http://garyhoare.diaryland.com
question:
What do you think of Jay Severin?

answer:
I know who you are! You are a listener of 96.9 FM Talk's "Extreme Games."

Jay Severin is the host. Some revere him as a genius, one whose thoughts and positions seem to mirror our own in an almost spooky way.

However, there has to be another group, albiet much smaller, that does not agree with or appreciate his wit or candor... such as this guy! He wants him off the air.

Me? Well Gary, I've never heard him and have no idea what you are talking about.



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name: Genevive
email: [email protected]
url: http://genevive.diaryland.com
question:
Is it okay for a girl in a serious relationship with a guy, or vice versa, to be friends with members of the opposite sex and do things (dinner, movies, sporting events, etc.) alone with them? My boyfriend went psycho when a guy friend of mine asked me to dinner. My boyfriend insisted on coming along, and he said he didn't want me doing anything alone with this guy or any other guy. Is he right or just old-fashioned?

answer:
He's not old-fashioned, he's insecure.

Generally speaking, younger men are insecure. Insecurity leads to low self esteem which leads to the belief that their female partner would cheat on them given the chance which leads to possessiveness which leads to the female partner getting pissed off put out stifled and or smothered which sometimes leads to them cheating on that young man.

Look, he either trusts you or he doesn't. If you wanted to cheat on him, you would, you could; he isn't with you every hour of the day. You could find a way. Explain this to him and that he's the man you want. Who you're friends with shouldn't matter. Reassure him.

If he still is adamant and self indulgent with his jealousy, then it's your decision how much you want to put up with.

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name: sarah
email: [email protected]
url: http://electricsigh.diaryland.com
question:
it's more of a question as opposed to a request of advice, but none-the-less, i'll keep talking. my grandmother died around noon today, and she was a very important person today. single-handedly, she changed my character more than all other people put together. my master status (it's a soc term) is being an artist, and that came about through her. she encouraged me to paint and draw on everything i got my hands on, and i'm pretty satisfied with how her handiwork turned out. her death rocked me like nobody's business, and i don't know what to think of all the death theology. personally, johnpowers, what do you believe? do you believe in that big ole' half pipe in heaven? do you believe there's some crimson guy with a pitchfork ready to roast my heathen soul? i guess it's a pretty personal question, but i think you'd have thought about this quite a bit.. i've heard that poets do that sometimes, think about death and dying and whatnot. i don't know what to think about death myself anymore.. i've had so many people die that i cared about already, and i can't even legally buy cigarettes for another year and a half. i wonder about if those people went to hell, if there is one.. if my homosexual uncle who died as a result of HIV is in heaven.. if maria, the fist suicide i knew personally is torching for her disregard to "god's temple." my family don't know what to tell me, my mom's Buddhist and wasn't too torn up about the whole deal (she'll reincarnate with her soon anyhow) and my catholic dad had no idea what to say. i guess my question got lost in all that long bullpoop i just wrote, so i'll say it again. what do you believe happens after we die, johnpowers? do we all stop like a computer in an ending stream of 0's and 1's? or does an omnipotent person decide weather we've been naughty or nice? or something else as equally odd? thanks, eclectic sarah

answer:
What do you believe happens after we die? What do we believe happens after we die? What do I believe happens after we die?

I certainly do not believe there is an omnipotent person up in the heavens somewhere deciding whether we've been naughty or nice. But how do I really know?

I am tempted to say everything just stops. You die, you're dead, your consciousness ceases to be. Who you are is no longer. This is what I think is the most likely scenario, but how do I really know?

How do I know there are not forces beyond my understanding? Scientists certainly do not understand everything about the universe. I believe just as energy is neither created nor destroyed, every action has an equal an opposite reaction. Could this apply to our actions and intentions? If so, would this be a reason to try to be a decent person instead of a jerk? Perhaps.

Without a longer explanation, I feel that everything recycles eventually. People never really die, because they live on through their children, their writing, through the people that they've touched during their lives.

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name: jen
email:
url: http://migrainegirl.diaryland.com
question:
My Dear Mr Powers; It has been brought to my attention recently that if one were to perform a "Yahoo search" for "migrainegirl.diaryland.com"; the first entry/link would be "johnpowers.diaryland.com." Now I ask you, how can this be? Do you have a secret vault filled with "migrainegirl" information and paraphernalia, soon to be opened by Geraldo Rivera? If so, could I get access to it first? I find this disturbing. And don't ask why someone would do a search for something they already had the address to. Its a bit confusing. Thanking you in advance.. The REAL Migrainegirl

answer:
Dear REAL Migrainegirl, Yahoo and Google web searches are based on an algorithm that ranks pages based on the number of people that link to them. If more people link to me than you and if the phrase http://migrainegirl.diaryland.com appears on a page of mine, then chances are I will appear higher in the yahoo and Google list than your own page entitled http://migrainegirl.diaryland.com.

Unclebob's page is the same. Pick any person from Unclebob's Army and do a Google search on them, chances are Unclebob's site will appear higher than the recruit's page. If you displayed the whole url of your site on your page, chances are it would eventually move up past me in the search listings.

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name: Piper
email: [email protected]
url: http://white-rook.diaryland.com
question:
There is a declared "decorating" war that has been going on between the girls and boys of my Crew for the last three years. We women need some more ideas. What are some fun things to throw on cars that won't eat off the paint, or if there is Saran Wrap stretched all over the car, won't eat through the Saran Wrap and mess up the paint?

answer:
I'd suggest coating the targeted car in a thick coat of car wax. Rub it on thick and don't wipe it off. Then put the saran wrap over the wax. This should help prevent anything that gets by the wrap from hurting the paint and it should keep the saran wrap from permanently sticking.



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name: Trance
email: [email protected]
url: http://trancejen.diaryland.com
question:
WHY WHY WHY is it so hard to quit smoking?? Why?? I feel like a smelly, groveling miscreant who would shoot my own mother for a butt. I quit for six weeks and rapidly lost my will to live(while eating everything not nailed to a plate), so here I am again, puffing away. Why is it so damn hard?? Does Philip Morris put heroin in the cigarettes? It's maddening. Since you share this horrid vice, I thought you might have an insightful answer. Thank you.

answer:
Nicotine and whatever else is put into cigarettes by the manufacturer is reported as being as addictive as heroin. That's why it's so hard to quit.

I've tried quitting using Wellbutrin (Zantac), nicotine gum, the patch, cream of tartar in milk every night, and cold turkey. The longest I lasted was about 9 months and that was quitting cold turkey, but I've had the best results with the patch.

First off, start smoking outside and outside only. Get the smell of smoke out of your house.

Secondly, you have to want to quit. Really want to stop smoking and never smoke again. Knowing it's bad for you and quitting because you should will not work, you have to really want to quit for a specific reason.

Once you have that reason, pick a specific date about a week or two in advance. Don't smoke more and don't smoke less during this period. Use this time to write some things down. Write down what causes you to smoke. If you go to a bar, do you chain smoke? When someone pisses you off, do you have a butt? Does a friend of yours smoke non stop, so you smoke more around them? Figure out what triggers your smoking.

As the day you plan to quit nears focus on that reason why you're quitting.

On the day you quit, you should also quit coffee, alcohol, black liquorice, and dark chocolate. All of these have chemicals in them that illicit nicotine cravings.

The day to quit arrives. Now put on a nicotine patch and quit smoking.

Throw out your cigarettes, all of your matches, your lighters and throw out all of your ash trays.

Once you are not smoking, you also have to change your habits. If you take a smoking break mid morning and mid afternoon, you should still take a break, but take that break somewhere else. Take a walk outside for a few minutes instead of standing at the smoking area outside. Go to the water cooler instead of the smoking room.

Every time you feel like smoking, focus on the reason you are quitting and pinch your earlobe very HARD with your fingernails. Your earlobe is a acupuncture point that alleviates cravings. Focus on the fact that cravings will pass whether you smoke a cigarette or not.

If you fail and smoke a cigarette, don't worry about it. Keep to your routine, figure out what caused you to smoke, and avoid that cause in the future.

Keep trying... and remember, if it gets too bad, you can always bitch slap someone, then kill them, because when you're in jail for life,

smoking is encouraged.

---------------
name: Trance
email: [email protected]
url: http://trancejen.diaryland.com
question:
Well, since I'm here, may as well ask another. John, I am frantically trying to poop train my son. He is potty trained, but the poop thing just isn't happening. Can you give me some small glimpse into the strange male psyche that might explain why this child does not want to submit to the potty? It's become a battle of wills, and I am losing. I've already asked Ann Landers, Star Jones, and Dr. Brazelton, and they had nothing but hippie crap advice to offer. Thanks again.

answer:
Short of doing something that would give him a potentially serious complex later in life, I have few ideas for you.

"Telling him boys who poop their pants go to hell." - Potential Complex.

"Smacking his bottom with a cat of nine tails at each non-submission." - Potential Complex.

"Telling him he had a brother who poop his pants so you had to ship that one off to Afghanistan and start over again with him..." - Potential Complex.

You could try good-ole positive reinforcement. Show him praise and give him treats he likes when he uses the potty, then give him no reaction at all when he doesn't. When he doesn't, just carry on with what you are doing, then in a little while take him to get changed and just stick to the changing, giving him as little interaction and showing as little reaction as possible.

I don't have kids and it's been at least 5 years since I've been potty trained, so don't sue me if the kid grows up retentive or something.



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