Somehow a party broke out at my house last night. Dave and Meagan stopped by soon after I got out of work. Then Ray came by but I didn't hear him at the door so I never let him in and he went home then later Chris came over, left to finish his laundry then came back, so we played dominoes again, what's with all the domino playing lately anyway, and then Dave and Meagan left, Chris stayed for a little while longer, Jen came back from a work dinner party, then Chris left and
I AM SURE THIS IS JUST FACINATING!
It was an unplanned party. Take my work for it and I'll leave it at that.
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So... Gov. Jeb Bush's daughter Noel was arrested for trying to scam Xanax. Good ol' Xanax - baby heroin in a pill.
Add her to the President Bush's twin daughters, Jenna and Barbara, and you'd get the movie "Dude Where's my Car?"
It would be made with three lead characters instead of two... who weren't dumbassguys... but it would still be "Dude Where's my Car?"
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So... I have to do this High School performance Friday night. It's at a HS in Kingstown RI, they're supposedly making it a big deal with live music, some sort of international buffet - (Whatever the hell that means. I don't know.) - and chimps.
Live Chimps will be on stage - some on stilts, some balancing on beach balls, others using sign language to tell the performers that they suck while trying to perform next the distraction of the international buffet table.
(The scene: A high school cafeteria in the smallest state in the union. Johnpowers on stage.)
JohnPowers: "Walking with black boots, black pants, black shirt and orange manic panic on top I look..."
Sign Language Chimp: "BoBo want dork boy off stage. BoBo no like tall dork and handsome boy. Bobo want dork off stage!"
(end of scene)
So... I'm looking for two or three female performers. If there's any of you out there who don't hate me and can be to Providence for 6:00pm ish on Friday... well... I'll pay you.
Psst. There will not be chimps. That was a joke.
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So... someone pranked called my house last night. It was a guy who sounded young and was trying to alter his voice.
I'm hoping it was someone who tracked me down because of this here web site.
Because really, this is the whole point of my writing in this thing every day - to attract really bored people to stalk boring me.
Seriously, if I don't know you and you show up at my door because you tracked me down off the internet, I will grab you, drag you into my apartment, stab you, then stab myself in a non vital spot, and leave the bloody knife in your hand while I call the police.
What? You don't believe me? I'm a dangerous man.
I know karate!
Wa Cha! Hoo Waaah CHaaa! Ha CHa!!!!
Ouch, I think I just pulled a groin muscle.
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Well, I'm off to look for some ice. L8... errr.
