Friday is Horoscope day however today is also tired johnpowers day because I
didn't get to sleep until about 2 in the morning.
Last night I competed in my own slam's semi finals. I placed second so I'm
now in my own finals in June. Jared - that bastard - placed first and
scored perfect 30's all three rounds. David Gonzales and a guy named Tony
took the last two top spots so the four of us will be competing again as the
summer nears. (Jared is my friend and I'm just kidding so don't send
There were well over 200 people in the club last night. It was amazing. I
had to have people sit on the sides of the stage, people were sitting on
every free space on the floor, I found every available chair in the club's
basement, and still there were 50 people standing the whole show. Intense
is just a word, but it's a fitting word.
If you want to hear the last round of last night's slam, I recorded it and
set it to stream off of my Real Audio Server on www.gotpoetry.com - or
just click here to listen. The
poem I perform is at about 12 minutes 16 seconds into the recording, so skip ahead if
*cough* *cough* you only care about me.
Have I ever mentioned how much heat 200 people can generate? Believe me,
humans being used as batteries in The Matrix was dead on.
Anyway, enough about me, it's not like this is my DIARY or
Jan 20 - Feb 18
FYI, according to the stars, the Sun and you should still be together. Of
course the stars also say sticking their hands and shoes into cement in
front of a gentrifying movie theatre in California is an honor and not an
excuse to buy new footwear, so examine other people's motivation this
Feb 19 - March 20
Your stars are out of alignment. I suggest taking them to Midas and getting
their oil changed at the same time. If you read your manual you would have
seen that there is required maintenance every 30 divinations, I wouldn't
need to remind you, and you'd have gotten a much better horrorscope. Humus
and falafel in a pocket with lots of veggies.
March 21 - April 19
Good things come to those who wait and even better things will be comming to you. Go through all of your pockets, look through your closet and your coats. Do it now. I'll wait... Back? See? Yeah. Told you.
April 20 - May 20
Once again in the great scheme of things you were missing. Splitting
yourself between the old and the new is affecting your personality, not that
you're crazy, but you're more crazy about the new than the old and that will
hold up in a competency hearing. Avoid Vienna... Sausage. Rice Pilaf.
May 21 - June 21
Unless you have been surgically altered, it is time for you to get some
action. If you've been surgically altered, I cannot guarantee this
horrorscope, but still - do the deed. Unfortunately you're not going to meet
anyone but a security guard at the Olympics. Try a tea bar and work your
libido urge-need-o's that way. Sushi - eat sushi - just to be ordinary -
before you search or at least until you find your s.o.
June 22 - July 22
Ice - this week's theme for you is ice. Not Ice Ice Baby, but frozen water.
Ice cream, ice sculpture, Ice House beer, cake icing, a penalty in hockey,
ice on your _______ while you're having ___ or just become a bobsledder.
It's your choice. Just don't go ice fishing as that's a risky pastime as of
late. Hot Chocolate.
July 23 - Aug 22
Go to the woods the next time it snows. Walk through the trees as gentle
flakes fall. Get wet - get cold - warm up with something that makes you
happy. Call the person you have been meaning to - it will be interesting.
Work it baby. Send johnpowers an email saying he rocks - even if you know he
hasn't really rocked since 1988. Eat a cheese burger.
Aug 23 - Sept 22
There are some plans that you need to help make. Sit them down and get them
to get a few things down and recorded so that you can relax about at least
one more thing this weekend. Your bucket is pretty full and it just may
spill a little, but don't worry, there are plenty of people around to hand
you a towel. Coffee & Cake.
Sept 23 - Oct 23
Things are going exceptional for you - whether you realize it or not. You
are cared for by so many people - even if you can't see it. Finish what you
have started and then take a nap, then putter around, take another nap, get
up drink a glass of water, then go to bed for a while. For three days next
week, get an extra hour of sleep and then compare. French onion soup is
neither French nor just onions - eat it anyway.
Oct 24 - Nov 21
You have the world before you. The world is a firm carrot ready to be used
or abused - the question comes down to packaging. Every cloud has either a
silver lining or a carcinogenic content. When the world serves you lemonade,
scream at it that you wanted ice tea. Pinch the ass of the next person who
deals you 4 disguised cliché's in a row so hard they cry. Tiramisu. Order
Nov 22 - Dec 21
You may be the son of sha clack clack but you are also before that. You are
before - before. Before death is eternity, there is no death there is only
eternity and you be riding on the wings of eternity like hya hya sha clack
clack get me the hell off this horrorscope track. Eat some of Virgo's cake.
Dec 22 - Jan 19
The moon has moved onto you. Don't you feel special? Other than that, you
have no horoscope today. You can either take this as a sign you are going to
die or you have a chance to start fresh with a few things. If you are a
suicidal person, take the other 11 people's horoscopes for your own. The
possibilities are endless.