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° The Jaded and Angsty Horrorscopes °

Friday is horoscope day - yes, my take on horoscopes for the weekend.


Aries 3/20-4/18
What you are waiting for is on it's way. Patience - even if it's undeserving. Try to eat on the healthier side this weekend.

Taurus 4/19-5/19
What's with the hair? Changing your look is never a bad thing, but perhaps you should re-consider. Is all the meat a really good idea?

Gemini 5/20-6/20
You have nothing to fear but Spam™ Itself! Seriously, everything will be fine, and seriously, stay away from the Spam™.

Cancer 6/21-7/21
Smoke is bad for you - get away from it. Chances are it's going to be a good weekend, so take advantage of it.

Leo 7/22-8/22
Enjoy your trip, make the most of it, it'll be fun. Buy new sunscreen and eat some greens.

Virgo 8/23-9/21
Stop working so much, instead try pimping out your significant other for extra cash. Oh, wait. That won't work out so well. Find the time for a quick nap.

Libra 9/21-10/22
Feeling overwhelmed today? Why? Stop being silly about it and just bite it back. Beware of street grills.

Scorpio 10/21-11/21
Open a new savings account. I sense it is time to get some new salad dressing.

Sagittarius 11/22-12/20
You have so much to feel proud of. You also have a lot of work ahead of you. Increase your sushi intake. Dramatically.

Capricorn 12/21-1/20
A lot of people think you've dropped off the face of the earth. What's the deal? Prove them wrong with a surprise. Jell-O.

Aquarius 1/21-2/19
Stop doing everything in spurts. Just as sprinting before warming up, sitting for days without stretching your body - your mind - your routine will induce cramping and irritability. Bananas! Buy the Bananas!

Pisces 2/20-3/19
Find the Sagittarius-Rex's in your life and make them go out to Sushi... Think of it as community service. Order a little tempura too.

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Since Feb 2001

Long time no update. - 12.19.09

Clinton or Obama? - 2007-10-04

Two workshop Providence paid gig - looking for instructor - 2007-10-03

Big brother - 2007-09-26

Favorites - 2007-08-30