Last night I had to run from a medium sized wild rhinoceros.
Actually, I didn't do much. Spent some time writing, a bunch of time online. Worked on this Haiku sequence I have going. Tonight I have to make an appearance at W.A.R - AS220: Careem Cains hip hop show. I've been promising him for over a year I'd show up and I always seem to have something derail the Powers head popping in. After the show apprearance I have to go to Ron Dumont's going away party - at Natey's in the middle of no one fucking knows. I'm suposed to mapquest my way there. After that I'll probably get in a DUI accident because I know I'll drink too much. Damnit. I'll see if I can bring someone along to keep me in line.
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Jen still doesn't know anything about her new apartment. I'm getting pissed. She was suposed to move out weeks ago and the not knowing what is going on is really what gets me. She's supposed to find out today... we'll see. Stupid.
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So here's a new poem I'm working on - it's not even close to being ready...
and he doesn't want to call her a past magician a mathematician he pulls daggers out of his voice box whispering fractions of past disappearing acts "I'm sorry sweetie but I don't think I can give you want you want� freshly stoned he dodges another rock dust stings the eyes rain swells the river running faster he strings his wishes in the wind paper dolls blowing C notes he's stopped keeping the score of so many women a whole life full of women a mother the grandmother who watched him every day after school girlfriends fianc�es a parade of monogamy weaving past lovers into a rope around his neck he ties a knot loops an end over the banister and jumps free falling freedom his feet land on the ground so he holds the knot against his chest cuts it and pulls out guilt still strung together �Honest, there is nothing up my sleeve� he lies he is a magician he knows the illusion of distance of half truths omissions required unrequited he unmakes the bed and he doesn't want to call her
ii
he thinks of his mother raven beauty abandoned with a baby at 24 hours to midnight she cries every night he wakes walks to her bed the door is open there�s no boyfriend here so he sleeps clutching long hair �I promise I�ll be here in the morning now sleep child, sleep�
iii
today he wants to take a fast train to new york and sit across from her cross legged hold a hand and subtract the effort from his smile add it to hers divide their expectation evenly he�s no Einstein or Houdini and neither three believed in clairvoyance see but you see see he knows he could spend a lifetime in that smile
iv
he wants to fly to California and sit across from her cross country but across from her window another man is leaving his baby cries he�ll point that out ask if the right things are expected here �would you mind if I leave you now? you must believe me how I say there is no way this will work I could make my past disappear but your eyes make my fear multiply my expectations are illusions there is no cost solution for this price of admission I am a magician a past mathematician your smile is really expensive to me I�ve done the math so watch this trick while I hide� I will hide my heart inside my sleeve here is my voice watch it fly away as a dove� �but he doesn�t want to call her no, he doesn�t want to fall for her no, he doesn�t want to fall in this thing no, he won't call love
