Spoon!!! I mean SPORK!
Yesterday after work I decided to grab a beer at The Custom House - it's a real small bar two buildings down from my office. A copper covered bar and tables that have old prints of the city beneath glass tops.
So while I was sitting at the bar I remembered that I still haven't found my portable Public Address system. You see, we used it last August at the National Poetry Slam and I haven�t seen it since. I thought my friend Ray had it, Ray thought I had it... and when we decided to pretend last August never happened and stopped talking about it, we obviously didn't talk about sound equipment either and now that equals missing PA.
I thought it was at this bar we used as a club called Nick-A-Nee's. I love that bar. Its one of my favorite in the city, so naturally I decided to walk the 15 minutes to Nick-A-Nee's from the Custom House.
I get to Nick-A-Nee's order a beer, sit down, look for the owner, find the owner, she tells me she hasn't seen the PA, I sit back down and finish my beer and walk home.
Once I made it back home, I did absolutely nothing of note.
Well I did get my hands on video tape from the 2000 Nationals - about 20 Hi8 video tapes worth. Too bad I don't have a Hi8 cam corder. My mother does, but I can't borrow hers because she's about to not be speaking with me because Jen and I haven�t finished her photo album project and she wanted it for last week - my Aunts birthday that has come and gone... I'm such a bad son.
Oh, The photo album project: Jen and I are scanning about 4500 pictures from my dead grandmother's old albums so we can duplicate them and make duplicate albums so she doesn't have to break up the albums because my aunts keep asking her for their share of the photos.
Believe me, this all makes sense in my world.
So for a lack of a proper playing device, I did not touch the Nationals tapes and decided to sit in front of the television.
Oh, I yelled at the cat for eating my Bonsai. A lot. He used to like the Azalea, so I put it outside and hid it in the mulch so the morons wouldn't throw it in the river. So he moves to the elm tree, so I move it and put it way out of his reach, so he moves onto the other elm... so I put that outside and put it behind another plant, because the morons are in fact _morons_ and won't look behind another crappy plant for the new - missing many leaves now thanks to the cat - bonsai out side.
This morning I caught the cat eating another plant.
I've been growing some more cat grass for the cat and it was only about half ready, so I brought that in, did a switcheroo with the stupid pain in my ass plants the cat is trying to poison himself with and at lunch time I'll go home and further survey the damage.
I'm sure all of this is just fascinating?
"I want to laugh, tell me something funny!!"
Now that's funny, not only is it a fork spoon, it's a fork-spoon-knife!
"Wait a minute honey, I have to finish cutting this steak with my spork, I should be done NEXT WEEK!"
Fine, I'm still not funny, but I have to get to work.
