Hey, want a motorcycle in a box?
I walked to work this morning as I usually do - following my usual
routine. I bitched silently at the cars not letting me cross the cross
walks, I audibly cursed the wind, I shivered. I shivered a lot. I made
it to my building and went to the corporate cafe on the ground floor.
Ordered a large coffee and a sesame bagel - not toasted - with cream
cheese. They, per my usual routine, handed me back a large coffee and a
toasted bagel. I paid my 2.50 and waiting too long for an
elevator.
Back at my desk ready for another fun filled day of on the cold section of
my floor, I checked the plants in my window, drank some coffee, ate my now
crunchy bagel, muttered "thanks for toasting it and never giving me my
order right, biatches" in my head, and settled in for another fun filled
day in the cube farm of despair I like to call MY JOB.
The phone rings.
"johnpowers..." I always answer.
"Hello, this is the Providence Police."
Now I don't know about you, but whenever I unexpectedly have to
communicate with a police officer, I always feel as if I've done something
wrong. I don't know. Maybe 5 years ago that wasn't a pothole I hit late
one December evening. Maybe it was someone's grandfather and they're just
now tracking me down. You never know.
"Mr. Powers?"
"I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS A GRANDFATHER!"
Mr. Powers... did you report a
motorcycle stolen last April?"
"Ah, yes."
"Well, it's been 'recovered' in 'east-blah-blah-blah-you're not going to
remember what I say' and you need to come down to the station to claim it
by filling out 16 forms, giving a blood and semen sample with nurse Helga,
and reciting the pledge of allegiance - backwards."
"uhhh..."
"You're a red blooded American, right Soldier?!?!"
"I'll be down this afternoon."
�
Oh, and just after I received the marvelous news that I'm now the proud
owner of a motorcycle again - even if it's probably a motorcycle in a box,
this email was being sent around the office.
From: Cxxxxxx, Jane Sent: Tuesday, February 12, 2002 9:28 AM To: Rxxxxxx, Tim; Rxxxxx, Kathy; Hxxxxxx, Nancy; Sxxxxxx, Lauren; Powers, John; Rxxxxxxxxxx, Kichenan Cc: Lxxxxxxxxxx, Mary; Rxxx, Jim Subject: John gets the gold I thought it would be fitting to take John to lunch...he say's he's a little sore today so I thought when I get back from the Olympics we could set something up. Tim, Lauren and I are available for lunch...
There are seriously too many people with the last name of Powers in the news. But obviously not enough of them with the first name of John, so my co-workers feel the need to doctor pictures. I love my life.
