johnpowers dresses
In all black.
In whatever's the fashion - that Nazi.
Like the people on Sprockets.
In a dress.
Like a J-Crew or gap model.

johnpowers likes to watch
The world pass by.
Anything with a Plot.
Dogs humping.
Law & Order
College Basketball.

johnpowers family calls him...
Shithead, get back under the stairs!
Jack.
Sean.
Sir.
All the damn time.

johnpowers dreams of:
Me.
His diary.
One day being popular.
Being an Astronaut.
Moving with his girlfriend.

johnpowers used to really be into...
Racquetball.
Basketball.
Looking into the mirror.
Karaoke.
Bonsai.

johnpowers favorite type of beer is:
Guinness.
Budweiser.
Spiked with my pee.
Anything from a keg.
Rolling Rock.

If johnpowers were a Muppet, he would be:
Kermit
Animal
A stuffed dummy.
Miss Piggy
Beaker.

johnpowers spends most of his day at work...
Surfing the web.
Diligently working.
Masturbating.
Talking to his co-workers
Working on the hard problems.

If johnpowers were on Gilligan's Island he would be:
The Professor.
Gilligan
Mr. Howl.
The wrecked boat.
Mary Ann.

Which punctuation mark would johnpowers most likely use?
{ }
?
!
...
$#@%

johnpowers thinks the 80's:
Were shallow.
Should be brought back.
Were the best days of his life.
Were responsible for most of his current wealth.
Would have been much better if I were with him back then.

johnpowers performs:
In an alternative rock band.
In an Umpa Band.
In hip hop shows.
In a Kiss tribute band.
Poetry.

johnpowers lives:
In the suburbs
In a van down by the river.
In Providence.
Near a college.
In Boston.

johnpowers is always quitting smoking because:
He likes the attention.
He knows how bad it is for him.
He has no will power.
He hasn't found a good enough reason to quit for good - yet.
He gets free cigs from work.

What is johnpowers favorite recreational drug?
Heroin.
Marijuana
Beer
Whatever he is handed.
Ham Salad.

What kind of underwear does johnpowers wear?
Lace bra and panties
Tighty whitey's
Only Calvin Klein�s
Boxers.
Silk Boxers.

Is johnpowers gay?
Who cares?
Yes.
He wears women's clothing, and is gay.
Nope.
Gender is an illusion.

What is johnpowers' favorite part of his body?
His chest.
His bottom.
His arms.
His beard.
His eyes.

Which part of the johnpowers site do you like the best?
The random entries.
The close button.
The answer column.
The short stories.
The horoscopes.

What does johnpowers think of cell phones?
They're just a tool.
They're fine if not used in an annoying way.
He lives by them.
They're great because he can use them to call someone who cares.
They're too expensive.

Are you johnpowers?
No.
No.
No.
Yes.
No.

Do you want to be johnpowers?
Why?
Who's johnpowers?
I doubt I could handle it.
I'd rather die first.
No, but I'd like to merge with him.

If you met johnpowers what would you do?
Ask his opinion on a lot of stuff.
Punch him in the face.
Say Hi. Nice to meet you.
Try and correct a few misconceptions of his.
Ask for a group photo.

Are you a member of the johnpowers posse?
Yeah right.
Yes.
Why?
Of course.
What posse?

Which historical figure do YOU most admire?
J. Edgar Hoover
Albert Einstein.
Jesus
Caligula
Pablo Neruda.