do not read this entry if you are going to drive or operate heavy machinery...
8:15 pm and i'm doing laundry. this weekend i had to fix my computer. after a new sound card AND video card - all is well.
sometimes i wish i followed through and went into medicine instead of computer science and business. such is life, but i really don't have regrets. about anything.
i could use a beer, last one was thursday night at the slam. i tend to drink when i am out and rarely when i am home. nah, i think i'm just thirsty... and bored. in my fridge i actually have more than soda for once. milk, juice, etc. i'll have some juice.
i don't know...
i know i used to complain a lot. i know a lot of people complain. i know not too many people do anything about it.
i think any one who says that life is easy either lets their parents take care of them or has so much money, they don't count.
i think Every child deserves a childhood. i think i'm not an artist, more a reaction to life
i think all the great story tellers keep their mouths shut more than they open them.
i know as i'm sitting in my cube, i can see 91 ceiling tiles without turning my chair
there are 3 ceiling lights sections utilizing 3 bulbs each. each light section is comprised of 36 mirrored square sections.
i think i am bored.
i know i work on the 11th floor. there are 23 floors in this building & i can feel the floor shake as people walk past my cube.
i know i work in a cube. My idea of a dream cube would be round. my dream cube would have walls that reached the ceiling. my dream cube would have a door. i know my dream cube would be an office.
i think my dream cube would have hot & cold running coffee
i know coffee tastes better in the morning. i know coffee is free here. i know i walk twelve blocks to work & going home for lunch, i walk about 100 miles a month, 1200 miles a year. i know i can add & multiply. coffee a laxative? i think i have to get up soon
i know anonyminity is the safest way to exist & getting noticed is the only way to get ahead
i think i don't know what i want anymore
i know i moved to Ri three years ago. i know i changed jobs to live here
i know i was tired of driving. i know i like walking to work now. i remember when my car insurance expired and i had to get re-reregistered. i know i walked to work a week waiting for paper work to get faxed to me. i know i got the paper work. i know i went to the registry - twice. two hours and three hours respectively and i had my plates - my license - my reg. - my insurance
paying for my papers i found myself short $21.50 & the registry lady let me go out to the ATM & cut back in the 1000 man line. a small Hispanic man looked at me funny when i did
i said to him "i owed her money" his smiling reply: "You're a good citizen"
i know i didn't feel strange living in Ri until i registered to vote here. i know i felt stranger when i noticed Ri plates on my Car. i know it was 11 years since i owned my first car and i've always seen M-A there. i think putting that plate on was when i really moved away. i know i still walk to work
i think if a person wants to get to another, then they should give them space. i know it's hard want someone around when they're sitting on your head. i think my manager just tapped me on my shoulder, i should stop typing.
i think The Highway of Life is full of flat squirrels who couldn't make up their minds. i think in the city park of life, your either a pigeon or a statue. i know it has been too long since things were right with me
i know i dreamed once that I saw you across the room at a party hold a broken lighter in one hand, a working version in the other hold the switch down with one hand, light it with the other. i saw you jump when the flame jumped 2 1/2 feet strait up. in my mind i jumped up / ran over / grabbed you and dragged you to the kitchen sink. i held your hand under the water/ put ice in a bucket/ filled it and left you for the car/ with your hand in the ice water but you were fine / you scared me.
i think it's ironic that i used to miss you so much when you were gone and why did i freak out when things seemed different? a change / a break of routine / and the 4 year old says "HEY!" why would you want to leave me? i'm cute, i love you & you weren't going anywhere / just trying to get yourself back from Europe after your plane already landed
i think your selfish. i know i'm selfish. i think deep down everyone is
i think there's no such thing as a free lunch. i think that's a cliche. i think even if you sacrifice your entire life your getting something you get the feeling your doing something right. i don't think i sacrificed anything by buying you dinner i know the obligation to return the favor was understood
i think noticing someone's color doesn't make you a racist. i think acting like it matters / does. i know my boss said: TO ACCOMPLiSH GREAT THiNGS WE MUST NOT ONLY ACT; BUT ALSO DREAM; NOT ONLY PLAN, BUT ALSO BELiEVE. i think my boss reads motivational pamphlets
i know people keep asking me for directions. i think three days in a row now. i know i have been stopped on the street and asked how to get to a place down-town, the Weston, the outdoor ice Rink, and Lupo's Heart Break Cafe? 3 women - 2 with kids in tow. i think i guess the stereo type applies here. i think men don't ask for directions. what does the stereotypical direction giver look like? i have no idea yet of my own direction
is it the glasses?
do i look like i know where i am going or am i just tall enough to be picked out behind the wheel? Does this make me more susceptible to random acts of violence as well? perhaps this is why that College Shuttle Van tried to run me down perhaps they know how i can't stand Brown Students
maybe it's a coincidence
i think i just looked helpful and not as frightening as i hopped
i know rules of office etiquette should include when upon entering the building DO NOT push the revolving door so hard that the person behind you gets tossed out through pure centrifugal force
i think the last thing i want to do in life, other than have my toenails pulled out one by one,
is to look at another computer once i get out of work. i know occasionally i'll check my email from home, but i generally don't use anything resembling a computer at all. Sometimes at work i whip out an abacus for long division. i think i'm going to drop out of society at any moment now, i think i'm going to go away
i think you can talk a lot and not say much in particular. i think people will still be entertained. i know. i know i'm going to shut up now.
i still don't know what to do.
any suggestions?
