So yesterday between readings I took a drive to visit my friends Dave H and Meagan.
They live in the house of a turf farm. Its a nice arrangement, they get a beautiful house to live in, cheaper rent, and someone is always there making sure ecco terrorist don't spread weed seeds all over the turf.
Now, since they're on a farm I guess it made sense for them to get a duck, a few chickens and some geese to run around.
The last time I was there they were still keeping the baby duck inside the house. The geese and chickens stayed outside and were terrified of people. They would hide in the bushes and run quietly clucking if you tried to grab them.
The duck living upstairs was cute as hell. It let you pet it and it would follow you around the house.
A few weeks ago, Dave H had told me that since they've let the duck go outside and hang with the other birds, the others have become much less afraid of people.
"The little duck is sort of the ring leader now..."
I honestly wasn't thinking much of it at all when I pulled up to their house.
It doesn't look like anyone is home.
So I get out of the car.
I see that the little duck is now a normal sized duck quacking like a duck looking like a duck. Its the duck
followed by the geese
and two chickens
quickly waddling up to me which is cool because all of them but the duck used to run from me...
...but now they're squawking.
They look... angry
and they�re following me around.
Self, "I'm being followed by farm fowl"
"Yes you are self."
At first I thought it was cute - until I tried to get to the back door and they started to bite me.
Or is that beak me?
Self, "I'm being attacked by farm fowl!"
"Yes you are self."
I'm running away now
geese and a duck nipping at my pants
two chickens trying to keep up... to... I don't know, peck my eyes out if I fall down...
I'm running,
the car is closer
20 feet
10 feet
5
My hands is on the door handle
I'm shaking a gooses grip off from my pants!
I'm in the car, trying NOT to get any of the fuckers stuck in the door
and I'm safe.
A little shaken, but safe from the evil farm fowl.
�
So take it from me, if you want to protect your home don't bother with a rotweiler that needs to be walked and fed. Don't get an expensive alarm system your cat is going to set off.
Get some geese, a friendly duck and sit back and listen to the burglers scream
"AHHH THE GOOSE IS BITING ME!"
You'll be just fine, trust me.
