Ahh, crazy day. Youth slam meeting. Work was a long day. I feel as if I've had to pee for 6 days.
aries March 21 - April 19
The Sun is in Aries and the Moon is going from Gemini into Cancer. What about the other rocks and balls in the void? Buy a pair of boxers and loosen up, let freedom ring. Ring Dings. Clix!
taurus April 20 - May 20
Your fun tendencies have been stunted. Its not your fault, blame it on the networking. Blame it on clouds of smoke. Blame it on the rain. Blame Milli because Vanilli's dead. Or is that reversed? Upside-down cake. Clix!
gemini May 21 - June 21
The Sun is in Aries and the Moon is going from Gemini into Cancer. What's so great about Cancer anyway? What does Cancer have that you don't? Huh? Uncontrollable reproduction? That'll get you arrested in China! Egg Noodles. Clix!
cancer June 22 - July 22
The Sun is in Aries and the Moon is going from Gemini into Cancer. Tell the Gemini in your life exactly what is so great about yourself. You deserve a break today and you certainly deserve to feel good about yourself. Whatever you eat, just don't go to McDonalds. Clix!
leo July 23 - Aug 22
Is life everything you feared it would be? Do the dogs and wolves of your unconsciousness howl at the invisible crescent moon that was your hopes and dreams? Me neither. Filet Mignon. Clix!
virgo Aug 23 - Sept 22
Peace is almost upon you; Projects are wrapping up. Piece together the last of it and enjoy the next step. Peas. Clix!
libra Sept 23 - Oct 23
You were put here on Earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don't know. Scrap your trip. Very little is known of the deep Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fishermen. Grilled cheese and tomato. Clix!
scorpio Oct 24 - Nov 21
Kissing strange looking people in booths is best left to those who remember to close the curtain or door. If at first you do not succeed, slam slam again. Time was on your side. Your visits are greatly appreciated. Spinach pie. Clix!
saggittarius Nov 22 - Dec 21
The madness never ends, you can only stop answering the door. Sit in your place, turn off the lights, turn off the telephone, feed the dog a juicy bone. Open up a tall cool one, tell them that they are the one. Stop rhyming when you talk. Salmon steaks. Clix!
capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19
It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature. However, you may accidentally forget to turn on the heat and break your cat in half when you trip over it. So be careful. Freeze pops. Clix!
aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18
Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length. Men make up for lack of length with the type of car they drive. Some women make up for lack of happiness by dating men with crappy cars. You will spend a few minutes thinking of wheels. Round cheese on round crackers. Clix!
pisces Feb 19 - March 20
A mad whale will chase you around for all eternity after building management accidentally moves you into the cube of Poseidon. French Onion Soup. Clix!