Weather lends firefighters a hand
� 11 new blazes are reported, but crews making progress
"Hi Mr. Tornado, could you grab that fire hose for me?"
"Here you go..."
(Whap)
(Whap Whap)
(Whap Whap Whap Whap Whap Whap!)
"Cannnn't... grab... hose... Ahhhh!"
*Fire engulfs Mr. Tornado and Fire Fighter Bob*
Deadly violence rages in Mideast
� Hamas vows revenge for bomb death
When is someone NOT vowing revenge in the Mideast?
Can anyone say "Cycle of violence?"
Certainly not the leaders... unless that is thier plan.
WSJ: Yahoo in bed with Hollywood
� Paid entertainment services in works
Damn, that has to be painful, I bet the "O's" of thier signs chafe.
The 20 rules of celebrity dating
� 'Scoop' knows who's naughty or nice
1. Date someone who wears extremely less clothes around town than you do.
3. Date someone who is already married. The additional publicity from the bust-up will more than offset the bad publicity of being a slut or a 'ladies man'. (gag)
4. Never reveal details about your sex life. Especially if it involves you giving your billionaire spouse an oral heart attack to collect the inheritance.
5. Don't get a tattoo of your sweetie's name or passion love cry. Just don't. Angelina Jolie is now the only one who can pull off tattoos.
7. Rock stars don't count as celebrities, because many backward fools still think rock stars will date any upright walking humanoidish being. This is not true, ask Tommy Lee. Ooh. Never mind.
8. Actors who haven't had a TV series or major movie for a decade or more do not count as celebrities. They count as William Shatner.
9. Don't show up on the set of your sweetie's films just to train a machine gun on his/her co-star during the love scene filming.
11. Co-starring with your boyfriend/girlfriend is ok. Co-Starring with your spouse makes you Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise.
12. Cut your hair to look like your sweetie. It makes for cute photo ops. If you're between dates, attract one by cutting your hair to look like your pet.
13. Get pregnant / Impregnate.
19. If those pesky rumors of child molestation, drug abuse, homosexuality, compulsive philandering or gay porn wrestling just won't go away, drop him.
20. Finally, you don't even have to be able to count if you're dating a celebrity, you just have to be able to ignore that fact that you can't.
� 'Pie 2' still No. 1 at box office
Anyone seen my superglue?
� WashPost: Anxious wait for the euro
Less than 4 months until almost all of Europe's Countries currency changes over to the Euro.
You mean, an associated group of states all using the same currency?
Where did I hear of that before?
� Sullivan: Stuck on the roadside again
An entire news story of how some writer has broken down a lot over his life? Oh that's right, it's August, everyone took the month off... newswriters, telivision producers, even the President.
� More hotel bargains on the way?
"Roaches! Roaches! 9.99 a baker's dozen!"
"Roaches!"
� WSJ: Test of 'smart' car gearing up
With all the stupid drivers out there, this excites me. Maybe the cars can swear at their drivers for me.
� Newsweek: Asia's war with history
I am so excited. Asia is going to war with the History Channel. Mark Summers is going down baby! Oh yes, all of Asia verses Mark Summers (The host of the show History IQ) OOh I can't wait for the armistice.
"Mark Summers, the terms of your surrender are that you have to stop being Satan."
"Beelzebub!"
"Shoot him now."
Johnpowers Watches a lot of TV over the weekend.
� New low of boredom is hit.
That about says it all. No one was around, nothing super exciting to do...
Zan's Best Sites goes down
� So I created my own.
I stayed up late one night and have come up with one.
I like voting lists - not because of the popularity BS that some complain about, but because it's neat to check out different sites and sometimes you find some rather interesting stuff you wouldn't otherwise come across.
Currently we have three people listed (myself included) so feel free to sign up and or spread the word.
Or not.
It's all good, hell, it was fun just creating the thing.
(See that, I talked about the same thing two days in a row. That is how exciting my weekend was.)
