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11.08.01.12:09 pm

Hellevator Madness (part 12)

To whom it may concern,

Do you know why people don't talk much in elevators?

It's because small talk in elevators somehow becomes amplified in it's idiocy... and this amplification - I am positive - increases the earlier in the day it is.

Take this short play - based on the real life experience this morning of a tall dork and handsome pissed off person.

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(the scene: 8am, center hellevator, lower floor service)

(the cast: 2 stupid people, 1 mute, and johnpowers)

Stupid Person 1 starts talking just as the doors close: "Jaynee, what's the matter, you don't look happy to be here."

Stupid Person 2 replies - whining: "Today's Thursday, I'm only happy to be here on Friday."

Stupid Person 1: "Just think, it could be Monday...

Or Wednesday...

...Or Tuesday"

johnpowers: "Or Moron day..." Screamed inside his head, "...yeah, or it could just be Saturday and I'd be asleep right now dreaming these gawd damn stupid ass conversations."

Stupid Person 1: "I don't like wearing a coat either."

Stupid Person 2: "It is pretty cold out."

Stupid Person 1: "Not in the sun though."

johnpowers: "Wow, it's hot in here - hot as hell because I'm in it! With you two people and the mute!" He continues to not say.

Mute: Looks straight ahead not saying anything.

(DING!)

johnpowers: Gets off on the 11th floor.

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So take it from me. Do your talking in the halls, at your cubes, in the restroom - not the elevator.

Because while you're trapped in an 8 by 8 box suspended hundreds off feet off of the ground by a single wire, you might want to spare those trapped in there with you, because one day, they will open thier mouths.

Especially if you have nothing important to say.

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