new old this that

04.10.02.12:14 pm

Answers

I woke up with and have had the meanest cramp in my left butt cheek all day. How embarassing.

I write 3 regular entries a week. On Monday I do a headline entry. Headlines with my own story of the day's top stories followed by true stories I find on other news sites.

On Friday I write horoscopes with meal suggestions.

On Wednesday, like today, I write an answer column. If you need advice or need the answer to something, click on this advice link and ask away.

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name: cheryl
email:
url: http://goshdarn.diaryland.com/
question:
I was wondering if there was any correct etiquette to telling a person that they smell bad. I love my friend to death and enjoy spending time with him, but not as much as I would if he didn't smell so bad. Is there any possible way to let him know without embarrassing him?
answer:

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Irish Spring Deodorant Bath Bar, Original, 4.5 oz Bars Hrmm.

Offer to get in a water balloon fight with really REALLY large water balloons. Tell him the soap in the balloons helps keep them from prematurely exploding.

Take your friend golfing and then accidentally ram him into a water trap when you step on the wrong golf cart pedal.

Know anyone who needs a swimming pool cleaned?

"How long has it been since you went to the ocean?"

Hand him a fist full of coupons for deodorant and say, "I saved these because I was thinking of you."

Tell him about a story you read where 90 percent of supermodels are turned on and solely sent into wildly orgasmic heat by the scent of Irish Spring. Perhaps leave out the alliteration.

Make a fake commercial for a female hygiene product: "Summer's Eve, it's not just for womyn anymore."

If all else fails, you're just going to have to risk hurting his feelings and be straight with him. Either he doesn't know or doesn't care. If he doesn't care, then perhaps telling him that his odor is so strong that it makes you not want to hang with him will give him a reason to care. If he doesn't know, then telling him in a casual way might be best. "Dude, did you run out of deodorant? Cuz you're smelling pretty ripe lately."

Keep in mind that there are some medical conditions that cause people to smell. Some of these include anger, bacteria, drugs, heat, menstruation, nervousness, physical activity, sexual arousal, strong smelling food, sweat, and zinc deficiency. Chances are he's not menstruating.

Perhaps they have Anosmia - a medical condition where the sufferer has a complete lack of smell. Perhaps he can't tell.

Lastly anonymously email him this link: http://www.health4her.com/library/concerns/body_odor.cfm/

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name: Piper
email: froot_loops_killer@yahoo.com
url: http://white-rook.diaryland.com/
question:
Riddle me this, riddle me that... where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
answer:

--------------- Carmen Sandiego is right about here.

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name: tara
email: defectivehope@yahoo.com
url: http://midnighthope.diaryland.com/
question:
hey! my very first question for you. i was sitting at dinner tonight, pondering this video i saw of jack kerouac reading out of one of his books, and i got to thinking...when did people start performing slam poetry and/or poetry that was memorized and not read off of something? then i started wondering if anyone had ever written a history of slam poetry. then i started wondering who would know the answers to these questions, and then it hit me--johnpowers would clearly know, or at least be able to find out. and then i remembered your delightful answer column and here i am.
answer:

--------------- The Incomplete History of Poetry Slam can be found here.

I consider a true Poetry Slam to be a performance of poetry by poets who have written the poems being performed themselves where there is a winner determined by the audience at the end of the show.

There are so many variations. Some people only consider ad-lib freestyle work performed on the spot a slam. Others think just having a poetry reading where people memorize the work and perform it with no audience interaction and no winner a slam. Well, I say without a winner and without audience interaction - a slam it is not. A reading, sure. Just don't confuse people by calling what you do a slam just because the name sounds cool. I compiled a Slam FAQ for my GotPoetry site. People first started performing poetry that was memorized and not read off of something in ancient times. Homer was a poet, and people like him used to travel from town to town performing their work. This was how news and ideas were spread through the ancient world. In modern times Slam Poetry started around 1987 in Chicago. A guy named Marc Smith - an ex construction worker - couldn't stand normal boring poetry readings dealing with subjects and styles no ordinary person could relate to, so he came up with a cross between a boxing match and a poetry reading. Several machinations later we get the "modern" poetry slam.



new old this that
            














Since Feb 2001





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