new old this that am


Last night I went out with Dave and Chris to see a movie. We were supposed to see some movie, but as I was printing out the map to get to the Patriot Theatre Chris said not to bother because he knew the way.

So after we got lost and I fished out the map that I printed out and took anyway we found the movie theatre, except we were too late to see the movie we wanted to and decided to see Super Troopers.

It's a good thing The Patriot Theatre is only 1 dollar 75 cents for any movie because Super Troopers was, as Chris pointed out, a two dollar movie. So between the three of us, we got at least 75 cents worth of extra savings out of the night. That's enough for us to buy and share of... uhm... nothing.

Still, it was a fun watch.

Super Troopers: Imagine a group of Vermont state troopers treating their job like an opportunity just to mess with people's heads. Now imagine that all of the troopers were inspired to get into the force by watching "Police Academy" movies. Now imagine that half of the troopers are swingers and swing both ways. Now keep imagining and imagine the troopers all smoke pot, like to chug maple syrup (a Vermont joke), masturbate in their cars, and generally pass their days blowing the minds of people they stop on the highway.

Trooper: "Do you know how fast you were going?"

Terrified kid whose friends are stoned: "Sixty-five?"

Trooper: "Sixty-three."

I liked it and suggest you wait until you're in a silly mood and then go out and rent it on tape or find a super cheap theatre, because hey, any movie that has the line "desperation is a stinky cologne" is worth at least one watch.

It's official. I HATE DAY LIGHT SAVINGS TIME. Damnit. What is the need to turn back the clocks? We started this nonsense so farmers could be more productive, but that was before tractors had headlights. Hell, that was before there were tractors.

I'd like someone to do a study to find out how much productivity is lost among workers who spend an entire week tired all day long because their schedules are expected to instantly change over night and then bill that amount back to those farmers who are still being paid by the government to not plant a damn thing.

Tell me, if farmers still get paid to not plant, what do they need extra daylight for?

Just because the clock say's 7:30 AM, it doesn't mean my head isn't bitching 6:30... 6:30... 6:30... until I manage to wake up enough in the shower to realize I've been lathering the soap for 45 minutes.

Ahhh, today is a nice day. So have one yourself.

new old this that

Since Feb 2001

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