�� new old this that ��

05.15.03.11:12 am

Tonight I go to the red sox

Pedro Martinez is pitching. Pedro is the Red Sox ace pitcher. The Sox have won three straight and are one game behind the Yankees in the standings. I am going to be there watching the game in person.

This means they will lose. Mark my words.

Every year my department sends about 40 of us to see a Red Sox game. We rent a charter bus, fill it with sandwiches and coolers of cheap beer, and ride it to Fenway.

One year, one of the more muscular programmers I work with had me in a headlock in the middle of Jillian�s after I threw one too many verbal jabs. Another year, the bus side swiped a few cars. One other time, years ago, I blacked out on the bus and didn't remember sitting on some of my coworkers laps.

That was embarrassing.

This year I'm taking it easy. I'll have fun, but there will be no fistfights with Yankee fans. There will be no missing the bus. There will be no leaving at the 7th inning stretch so we can go drink long island iced teas across the street.

I will go home after the game, walk the dog, and sleep. Friday morning I will take two Advil, drink some orange juice, and walk the dog.

Friday evening I will eat sushi and be my normal mentally erect self.

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Someone please remind me not to use the phrase "mentally erect" too often.

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Ubiquitous list for when I am old and senile:

I drive a 2002 4 door Honda civic gas-electric ULEV car that gets 60+ MPG on the highway. It's the first 4 door car I've ever owned.

In my life I've owned in order:

� A 1981 2 door silver Chevy Malibu with a 3 speed manual on the floor.

This was my mothers car. She gave it to me in high school and I promptly sold it and bought a Trans Am.

� A 1982 2 door cherry red Pontiac Trans AM with T-Tops, an Alpine CD player, and gold mag rims. It was a 4 barrel, 4 speed, posi track, speeding ticket machine.

For ever I had two cars. See below. I drove this car through high school and college and after I graduated I sold it for an Eclipse. In high school I was pretty cool to drive this car... by 1993 I wasn't. At one point I figured out I had replaced every mechanical part that made the car move. From multiple transmissions, to rear ends to even the engine. The carpets were original as well as the seats. That's it.

� A 19?? yellow Mazda RX-7. (RIP, died sold to a junk yard)

� A 1981 2 door two tone blue Chevy Monte Carlo. (Given to me after my grandmother died, sold for the Mercedes for my girlfriend at the time to drive)

� A 19?? brown Diesel Mercedes. (Bought so my girlfriend at the time would stop borrowing my car, we broke up soon afterward...)

� A 1979 Triumph TR3. (RIP, died sold to a junk yard)

These were all miscellaneous extra cars. I was a young guy living near Worcester... What do you want from me?

� 1993 Green Mitsubishi Eclipse. I traded in the gaud awful trans am for this. Then after a few months I was rear ended by a pickup truck while I was stopped. The truck was estimated at going 45. My girlfriend Michelle at the time had to be cut out of it... pretty scary.

� 1994 BMW 318. This was a two door black BMW. Not the little hatch back thingy... this was the sporty BMW with a trunk. Heated seats, loaded... etc. I leased it and turned it in with 25,000 more miles than it should have.

� A 1986 Red Jeep CJ. (Bought for a winter car, sold to a friend)

� 1997 Jeep Wrangler. This car lasted me until I paid off the loan and sold it. I worked the extra money I had to pay for going over the mileage on the BMW into the loan for the jeep. Essentially I was paying the same amount for a jeep as I would have a BMW. Some people learn finance in college. I learned the hard way at car dealerships.

As well as the 10 cars I've owned since getting my license 15 years ago, I've owned two motorcycles, one 4 wheeler ATV and a riding lawn mower.

These are all of the carbon dioxide green house gas emitting, global warming contributing, internal combustion vehicles I can remember.

�� new old this that ��