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Usually every Wednesday I become The Answer Guy. Today is Thursday though, so you can call me Answer Dude. next week I'll be The Answer Guy again. If you need advice or need the answer to something, click on any of the � advice links on this site and ask anything you would like to.
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name: alison
email: [email protected]
url: http://
question:
okay john,i have a question-how do i arrange my lovelife so that it does not require damage tape and warning cones?
1)i have this thing with a guy when i have manic episodes(i am bipolar)-which i cannot control my rises in libido and even though i'd like to be friends with him,right now i cannot even stand to be around him.
2)there is my ex who now realizes he acted like a collosal ass wad ,and did some growing up-and he sees me now which is cool so maybe i'd like to be with him again(well not maybe. i would)
3)i just met this awesome guy named blaine-but im scared ill screw things up so i have not called him.
4)i feel like going wild and sleeping with everyone i see when i get manic but even when i'm not i just have this restless feeling inside i just wanna do evrything all at once! WHAT DO I DO??????.
PS.i read you every day congrats on the new place!!!-alison
Answer:
1) It's not a good idea to be with a person just because you're having an episode. It's the same as only hooking up with a person when you get drunk - it's not fair to either party. I also understand how difficult it is to control yourself during an episode, but I also know that manic depression is treatable. It's the side effects of that treatment that are the problem. I would talk with a therapist about it... and by the way, therapy is nothing to ever be ashamed of.
2) The ex who now realizes he acted like an ass wad... If you like him and think he's really changed, then ask yourself what you have to lose. Chances are the answer will be nothing and you should give it a shot.
3) The awesome guy named blaine... CALL HIM.
4) Again, talk it over with a professional. Chances are your going to have to find a combination of channeling your energies into a constructive activity, as well as start taking some psychotropic perscription to make everything more managable.
Thanks about the apartment. It's great.
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name: Sarah
email: [email protected]
url: http://adelphi.diaryland.com
question:
Dear Mister Know-It-All,
Seeing as you've had an answer to basically every question you've ever received, my hopes are high that you can answer mine too. Who IS that lady that has miraculously appeared on the new Bob's Discount Furniture commercials? Why is she there? I have pondered this long and hard, but it is begining to rot my mind. Tell me the real reason, oh Noble One, sir.
P.S. Would you happen to have any suggestions on fairly untrackable ways of killing one's parents?
Thank you kindly,
Sarah
Answer:
That lady is the quintcential lady of our collective subconcious. She is Bea Arthur of the Golden Girls, she is the "help I've fallen and I can't get up lady, the "where's the beef?" lady, the lady who says "You stinka!" for that production companie's credits trailer, she is the lady that Al from Dunkin-Doughnuts becomes when he dresses up in drag, she is the lady marketing professionals stick into commercials to drive us all nuts so that we can't help but to remember the products they are trying to advertise... and as you can obviously remember the commercial and the store, you would probably have to agree.
There is no way to kill one's parents that is not trackable because getting caught in a crime comes down to motive and opportunity. Because you are related to them (them being your parents and all) you will always run the risk of the connection being made and thus getting caught - even if you leave no physical evidence at all - especially if you hire someone else to do it.
The fact that you have asked the question here definitly dooms you to being caught because law enforcement would eventually find this site and suspect you right away.
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name: anonymous
email:
url: http://
question:
I'm in love with this guy and mostly our relationship is wonderful. One part I'm having trouble handling is the division of the chores. I know he can't handle doing as much as I do, but unless I nag him, he does less and less until I'm doing nearly everything again. I really hate nagging him and he always compares me to his mother when I do. He says the messes here and there (and the piles of clothes) don't bother him, but he's missing the point. How can I get him to help out more without nagging him?? He has done a tremendous amount in special projects we've been doing and I've been trying to let him know how much I appreciate it. Mostly it's day-to-day stuff that piles up. We are both busy and it's hard for both of us to keep the house in order. There are some things I asked him to do two years ago (a very special "project," if you will), and now with a few days deadline he still hasn't done this. I don't want to tell him do this and do that and would love to have him think of what needs to be done on his own. I don't like being responsible for thinking of everything. For instance, if the sink is full of dishes, and I've been doing them all week, I'd like to see him do them at least once without me asking instead of going on the computer, making a snack, and leaving dishes on the coffee table. We can't afford a maid or even a dishwasher, which is not what this issue is really about anyway. Having a washer and dryer has helped me keep clean clothes somewhat folded in piles on the floor. With a little more help, they could make it into closets and drawers and the bedroom would be less like the "laundry room." But I've gone on long enough. Any suggestions?
Answer:
One good way to go about this involves two steps. You have to divide up the chores into yours and his. THEN, you have to agree to do these chores at the same time. So that while you are doing dishes, he can be going around the house picking up, straightening out the bedroom and filling the hamper. Weekly chores would fall into the same category. He could be doing a couple loads of laundry and taking out the trash while you are cleaning the bathroom and then folding the clothes that just came out of the dryer.
If that doesn't work, then you have to do these chores together - you wash, he folds. He scrubs the dishes, you dry them and put them away.
Remind him that you are not going to be his mother and you'll eventualy leave him if he keeps trying to force you to be. Because in reality, you may just do that.
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name: Catherine
email: [email protected]
url: http://justbeingme.diaryland.com
question:
How long should you wait before having sex in a relationship?
Answer:
You should wait until you both feel comfortable enough and secure enough with each other to be that intimate. There is not schedule or time table. If you are both mature enough to handle a sexual relationship, you are using protection to guard against STD's and pregnancy, and you both want to have sex, then you should have sex.
Of course if he's 13 and you're 37 then the rules change dramatically and you're just a sicko.
You're not a sicko are you?
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name: Beth
email: [email protected]
url: http://angryquail.diaryland.com
question:
I am too lazy to get away from the computer and actually look it up: which is more correct, "canceled" or "cancelled"? Subtopic: which is more correct in America?
Answer:
They're pretty much interchangable, but "cancelled" is the more common in America.
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name: Piper
email: [email protected]
url: http://white-rook.diaryland.com
question:
Wow, I am think I am about to get really personal here.
Well... I am 18. I happen to have rather large breasts. I use them to my full advantage (never a dull moment in my sex life) and I don't really care about guys staring at my chest. Here's the problem, in five words: my spine and my scars. People do not seem to realize that you cannot sit up straight when you have 40DD boobs weighing you down. The top of my spine is curved pretty badly and it is a huge effort to sit up straight and not slump over. It hurts like hell to wear a backpack, since the extra weight plus my chest weight makes me slump over more, therefore restricting my breathing something awful. Don't even get me started on walking up the stairs with a backpack on. Or trying to bend over to pick something up- you get a faceful of breast and your oxygen is completely cut off. Plus, the extra weight on your chest naturally bruises the surrounding area, so my chest is a criss-cross of bruises, scars, and other various discolorations. It's not a pretty sight sometimes.
Anyways, I do have a point to this. Am I completely off the wall in propositioning my parents to get me reduction surgery for my birthday? I keep arguing the health benefits with myself, and I just wanted a third opinion. My roommate had the surgery last year, and she told me it's a good idea... we're of the same stature and all, and I have the same problem she did. Hopefully my insurance covers it.
Anyways, thanks, and now you know more about my chest than you've ever wanted to.
Answer:
I do not think it is off the wall at all to want the surgery. It sounds to me as if you have a lot of problems associated with your breasts that will only get worse as you age.
I suggest making a deal with your parents to at least schedule a consultation with a cosmetic surgeon so you can weigh the pro's and cons.
I do know that some of the drawbacks and side effects can be a reduction in sensitivity of your nipples, possible scarring, infection, and mis-shapen breasts if your breasts continue to grow as you matture.
Do some research, find out all the facts, and then if you still want the procedure, talk it over with your parents.
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